Confession

Damage Control

Mike had just wrapped a towel around his waist when Chester leaned into his bathroom, the scent of lavender flowing in with him. Their eyes met in the foggy mirror, and neither wore an expression that reassured the other. Mike sighed as he ran a hand through his damp hair. I don't have the first idea what to say right now. Chester is going to go on the defensive, but it seems like there's no point in trying to hide this any longer. I'm such an idiot. "Ches... I'm sorry. I don't know what happened on stage, I can't believe I fucked up so badly."

Not breaking eye contact, Chester nodded. "Yeah... I think it's safe to say the guys all know there's more to us than we've told them so far." He moved forward, slipping both hands around Mike's waist and placing his chin on Mike's shoulder. "What in the world made you do it?"

"Fuck, I don't know. Something just felt... different tonight. It was like I couldn't resist you, Ches. I just wasn't thinking," he sighed, then continued, "I guess we're not waiting until after this leg of the tour to tell them anymore?" Even though he knew there was no hope of putting it off until later, the weary confirmation Chester gave him caused his stomach to drop. I'm just not ready yet. I don't think I can handle their reactions. "I don't know if I can do this, Chester," Mike mumbled as he turned to face the vocalist, whose hand immediately started caressing his back. Mike's face creased with worry, feeling suddenly self-conscious under Chester's gaze as he realized Chester was fully dressed and he was wearing only a towel. It didn't escape his notice that Chester had dropped his eyes to Mike's torso, and he brought a hand up from Mike's back, laying his palm against Mike's chest where he imagined his heart would be, beating furiously with anxiety and Chester's proximity. "I love you, Ches... I don't know what's about to happen, but I know that I love you. Promise me... promise me..." His voice drifted off, unable to finish his plea.

"I love you, too, you know. Mike... Mike. I promise you that this is not the end."

A touch of a smile graced Mike's lips, and he said, "this is not the beginning."

Chester laughed, wrapping his other hand around Mike's neck and pulling him closer, "you're such a dork, Shinoda. Don't you sing our songs at me right now. This is serious."

"I'm rapping, not singing," Mike replied as Chester's lips covered his and the smiles faded as the kiss grew soft and deep. It didn't carry the unbridled passion of most of their kisses, it was simply tender and loving, consuming each other, their bodies pressed close together. When they broke apart, Mike rested his forehead on Chester's shoulder and whispered, "I should get dressed. They're all going to be in Rob's room already."

"Wait," Chester breathed, moving his fingers softly over Mike's collarbone. "I promise you, Mike Shinoda, I'm going to see this through with you. I told you there was no turning back, not now, not ever," he repeated the words he'd promised the first night they'd made love, a night that was burned into both their memories. "We're in this together, and everything that comes with it."

Tears pricked the corners of Mike's eyes and he nodded his head, his throat aching with emotion, and Chester led him out of the bathroom to get dressed and face the band.

**********

Twenty-nine minutes after the vans had arrived at the hotel, Mike and Chester stood in the doorway of Rob's hotel room, fingers entwined, and looked around at their bandmates. Brad seemed to be more in control of himself than he'd been an hour earlier, and Mike was grateful. Maybe Chester will be able to stay calm, too. I just want this to be over.

Brad had the curtains open and was staring out the window, looking over the water, both thumbs hooked over his pockets. Joe was sitting at the desk with his laptop closed, his iPhone plugged into an outlet; Rob in the armchair in the corner; Dave leaning against the wall. Chester led Mike to the bed and sat down on the edge, their hands in full view between them, both uncomfortable.