Kpop Short Stories

Hurt

Yoongi & Hoseok

Anger and hurt warred within him as he took in the scene before him.

He simply walked out without a word, without making his presence known.

It was only when he got into his car that it took over him. He clutched his chest, as if in physical pain, and tears streamed down his face as the image of Yoongi kissing down that girl's neck seared into Hoseok's mind. The heartbreaking sob escaped him before he could stop it, and soon he was a sobbing, broken mess in his own backseat.

The very same backseat where Yoongi admitted to having feelings for him.

The very same backseat where they shared their first kiss. And their second, and third, and so forth.

It hurt so bad he could hardly breathe.

He'd never thought that his very own best friend would be capable of hurting him like this.

He'd never thought he'd ever be able to feel a hurt like this.

Yet here he was.

Hoseok laid in that backseat for hours, crying and blankly staring at the car roof.

He didn't know how he would live after this.

He didn't know if he WANTED to live after this.

Hoseok snapped up at this thought. He'd never, not once, had a thought like that. And he didn't like having them now.

He climbed into his front seat and slowly drove home. After arriving, he trudged up the stairs, his footsteps as heavy as his heart and walked straight into his bathroom. He turned the shower the hottest he could stand and sat there, under the hot spray of water, for hours. Even after the water had run cold. Just staring at the wall in front of him, shivering.

Remembering some of the best moments of his life with Yoongi. Wishing he couldn't think anymore. Wishing he couldn't feel anymore.

He fell asleep like that.

When he woke up, he was warm, tucked under the blankets and into someone's side. He didn't even have to look up to see who it was.

His breathing and his heartbeat was something Hoseok could recognize anywhere.

And Hoseok laid there, pretending nothing had ever happened. Pretending that his heart wasn't bleeding. Pretending that, just for this one moment, Yoongi loved him enough to come to terms with the fact that he was gay.

But he didn't, and his heart was bleeding, and something did happen.

Hoseok gently untangled himself from Yoongi, careful not to wake him up, and sat up, looking out of the window.

He didn't know how long he sat, staring out of that window, trying to piece himself together, but then there were arms circled around his waist and a chin on his shoulder.

"I found you in the shower last night." Yoongi spoke, his voice deep and raspy from sleep.

Hoseok closed his eyes as his chest began hurting again and he felt his eyes sting. Yoongi pulled him closer and Hoseok took a shaky breath in. "Baby, what's wrong?"

He was unable to stop the tears that slid down his face. He had no strength to push him away. He was drained and tired. He had nothing left to give anymore. He couldn't keep doing this.

His voice broke as he whispered this. "I can't do this anymore."

Yoongi let go of him and sat beside him where he could see his face clearly. Hoseok's eyes were still closed and he was biting his lip to keep his sob in. "Baby, what do you mean? What's happened?"

"I saw you last night." Yoongi leaned back, his eyes wide. "I saw you last night with your mouth on some girl." Hoseok opened his eyes and finally looked Yoongi in his. "I saw you last night with your mouth on some girl, the very same day you told me you loved me." He looked back in front of him, wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to hold himself together, as if it would fix the aching, empty hole inside of him. "And I can't do this anymore."

Yoongi jumped off of the bed and onto the floor, on his knees, in front of Hoseok, frantic and panicking. "No, Hoseok, baby. No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just-"

Hoseok didn't let him finish. He shook his head and spoke, staring out of the window. "I accepted you for who you were. I accepted that you weren't comfortable with who you were. I accepted all of the bullshit you put me through because I love you. I understood you didn't want people to know you have feelings for a man. I understood and I accepted that, even when it hurt me, because I was happy with you and I love you and I knew you didn't do it to intentionally hurt me. But maybe it wasn't just that you didn't want people to know you had feelings for a man. Maybe you were just trying to prove to everyone and yourself that you still like women. And in doing that, you hurt me. This hurts so bad, Yoongi. And you promised me just yesterday you wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me because you love me. You've taken everything I've had to give for the past year and a half, but have given me very little in return. And now I have nothing else to give. I have nothing and I feel like nothing because of you. And I'm tired. So damn tired."

He stood up off the bed and stepped around Yoongi. "I can't do this anymore. And I won't. I'm moving out. Feel free to pretend to be as straight as you like now."

And with that, Hoseok walked out of the door, slamming it behind him.

Leaving Yoongi on his knees, sobbing.