Disconnected (Muke)

Chapter 12

it's late in the morning when they finally leave. all thoughts of michael's mother in the back of luke's mind as he rather thinks of what she said. it's technically true that he offed himself on his watch, but when they found his body they revealed that he was overly intoxicated. but people reveal the truth when they're drunk don't they? he takes a deep breath and loosens the tie around his neck and purposely messes up his hair.

i always preferred it that way anyway

ashton is driving slow, the sad rain leaving big splatters on the windshield only to be smeared away by the windshield wipers. he sighs, closing his eyes and listens to the rain hit the top of the cab of the truck. his eyes reopen when the hair on the back of his neck stands on end. his eyes scower the area around him. the only thing he can really see is the flecks of red paint on the hood of the truck flying away in the wind, otherwise nothing.

sigh

they arrive home and luke discards his jacket on the floor of the living room and leaves. his feet are heavy as he walks down the hall an towards michael's room. he looks around the messy room, pull the tie from around his neck and let's his fingers skim across the top of the oak desk and begins to wonder if this was really a drunken mistake. he sits in front of the desk and sighs, messing his hair up even more before sitting back, staring at the desk enforce a burst of energy runs through him and he bolts out of his chair and rapidly searches the room. he looks for something, anything that could give him a hint.

not there. i always knew you were an idiot.

finally, when he's turned over the whole room his eyes fall upon the very desk that he was at only moments before and checks the drawers, pulling out many, many pieces of paper. his eyes are glued to the paper as he reads word for word, over and over.

i'll just sit on the bed, to avoid awkwardness. you know.

luke, yeah. luke. i don't know how to start this or how to end this for that matter. but i guess i'll start with this; i was way in over my head when i moved out here. first of all, fuck you for moving in with us okay? dick move. just sayin'. i'm not sure how i fell in love with you, but I can tell you that you aren't a hard guy to fall in love with. all my life i've been jealous of you because i was always compared to you by my own parents because they wanted you instead. i don't blame them. i would want a perfect child too.

when i fell in love with you, it was slow. i know this because i started to notice the little things about you. i know that you snore when you sleep. especially late at night around 2:53 a.m. i would be lying if i told you that i slept better in your arms because honestly i didn't sleep at all. i know that your hair adds an inch and a half to your height when it's put up, and i know that every night before you go to sleep you hide all of the stuffed penguins that are set out on your bed in your closet because you know that i might sneak in. i could go on and on, but then i would end up writing a novel.

i know this letter sounds absolutely nothing like the me you know, but i can't help but bring to attention that you were my first love and my last. even if we were never officially dating, i still consider you my first love. i don't know if you feel the same or if you ever will, but fuck.

if i'm being completely honest I don't know where i'm going with this.

this, this is indeed a suicide letter.

it's unlike any i have ever written or seen, it's much more happy; i can't help that because you make me happy. i'm giving all the rights to everything i own to you, luke. in the end, i know that you told ashton everything about me, but i still trust you. so take care of my shit, or i'll come back and haunt the fuck out of you.

my mother was a big reason in this, i think. much of what she did and blamed me for were not my fault and i knew that, but a lot of what she said hit me hard.

lukey, please, don't come to my grave and tell me you love me. those words were the only thing would've made me stay.

i'm sorry,

michael.

luke takes the piece of paper with words coating both sides and crumples it in his hands and chucks it across the room.

not what i expected.

he's pacing around the room and tugging out his hair until he flips the desk over causing one of the legs to break off. "damnit!" he's screaming and pacing until he just wants to be sure that this isn't another one of his stupid dreams so he punches a hole in the wall.

if he had just been so on er.

a/n:

So what do you think is going to happen? I like where this is going guys I like it a lottt in case you didn't know I'm too lazy to edit my chapters weeeee