you are half of me (and I am all for you) - larry stylinson

two

Their first performance was in Nashville, which felt right in a cinematic sort of way. Nashville was where they all fell in love with music, going to their first concerts or visiting the music shops, taking guitar lessons and meeting their idols by chance on the streets.

It was also where Harry and Louis first met, fighting over a special edition Bon Iver vinyl that had somehow ended up at the secondhand shop. Well, they didn't exactly fight over it, but there was a little bit of aggressive tugging peppered in with jokes and laughter. Harry eventually allowed Louis to have it, as long as he promised to invite him over to listen to it sometime—and the rest was history.

Fifteen minutes before their performance and Louis was vibrating with nerves and excitement. One Direction was a small indie rock band, with a decent amount of fans, although it was nothing to write home about. Still, their fans were loyal enough to give them a stable livelihood for the next few years at least, as long as the band kept writing music and living as frugally as possible.

They all had their strange pre-performance rituals. Liam completed exactly seventy-seven push ups before repeating positive affirmations to himself in front of the mirror, like I have enough confidence to perform in front of a crowd and I can do this! Meanwhile Niall flossed and brushed his teeth exactly twice, then filled his pockets with guitar picks to throw to the crowd. Sometimes he would practice his golf swing, if he had time.

Louis liked to kick a soccer ball around and juggle it on his knees, seeing if he could beat his record number of juggles. He was also the only one who knew how to set up sound equipment and lights and everything, so if there wasn't a worker at the venue to do that, he would double or triple check all of his work.

Harry, on the other hand, sat perfectly still in front of the mirror and gazed wistfully at himself. It looked like he was meditating, or maybe searching his reflection for some sort of weakness or insecurity to focus on before the show. He always applied cherry-tinted lip balm and pursed his lips in front of the mirror, blinking at himself.

Oh, and the candles. He never had a lighter with him so he always had to ask Louis to light them, and there were so, so many to light. It was nice, though, because whatever back room they were waiting in before their performance would soon smell like vanilla and roses.

"See, you make fun of them, but I know you like them," Harry said, when he caught Louis inhaling deeply.

"What are we, a cult? About to sacrifice someone?"

"Yeah, you."

"Fuck off," Louis laughed, pushing at Harry's shoulder. Harry jokingly pushed him back and they ended up wrestling like children, knocking over a rose candle and nearly setting the whole place on fire.

"Three minutes," Liam warned, moving onto another round of jumping jacks. Louis had no idea how he did that without wasting all of the arm strength he would need on stage during his drum solos. It seemed to work for him, though, so Louis wasn't going to question it.

The time passed quickly, each moment a snapshot of his heart pounding in his chest. He took a few deep breaths, drank a sip of water, and waited his turn to run on stage.

They all went out individually, getting into their positions one by one as the crowd cheered, hyping them up. Liam went first, sitting down at his drumset, and then it was Louis' turn. He ran out with a jump in his step, smirking at the full sound of cheering and clapping. He applauded as Niall arrived on stage and lastly Harry, taking his spot at the center microphone.

It was easy to get lost in all of this, in the euphoria of performing. Louis was nervous but more than that he was excited, proud to share the songs they had spent so long writing and rewriting to their version of musical perfection.

He caught Harry's eye, and waited for the cue to play the beginning chords.

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