A Dream Diary

........

I was on a field. A street close by and a highway about 30m above it.

I was back in a car with having driving lessons with my instructor. Our relationship was one of the worst ones I ever had with a grown up, but I guess I really just don't do well with men...

I was back in the anxiety and the suppresses shivering. But he wasn't angry.
He acted like he was part of the interior, which I didn't mind at all.

We finished soon and I somehow left the car at the field, while he just disappeared.
As soon as I started making my way back, following the road, I came a across some friends.

She, my first crush kinda guy, and atleast two faceless people, which I still identified as friends.
We started talking and she said she needed to go shopping asap.

She had mascara on and a white shirt, making her look incredible.
It seemed to be urgend and didn't take long for us to sit inside the car and start driving.

I justified it as an extended lesson. Practice.
But her presence next to me made it a lot harder to concentrate. She was so close and I suddenly found myself in streets I hadn't seen in a long time.

I was trying to remember which way to take, they kept changing, while driving like a drunk. No one seemed to be phased by my driving but kept on pressuring finding the damn shop.

I've never remembered her, looking or being like that before, but I feel like it was just about me feeling like I would still do anything for her.

No matter how scary, now maybe even more than before...