Don't Get Too Close (Justin Bieber Love Story / Fan Fiction)

Forty-Two: "I don't know."

Chapter Forty-two: "I don't know."
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Song of the chapter:
In My Veins by Andrew Belle ft. Erin Mccarley
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This is probably how she felt after my accident. She was probably sitting in this exact chair, or maybe even the one next to me, or maybe even the one across the room. She was probably bouncing her leg up and down. She was probably biting at her bottom lip. She was probably wiping her sweaty palms on her pants. Her heart was probably about to come out of her mouth from beating so fast. She probably couldn't even think straight with all of those thoughts circling her mind.

Just like me.

Waiting for the doctor to come out and tell Mark and I what was going to happen next was agonizing. She wasn't going to die, I knew that. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital, the medic told me she was only dizzy from the blood loss. However, she needed stitches immediately. The cut was so deep that it couldn't heal on its own.

There was nothing for me to say to Mark. I could barely find the energy within myself to make a sound. I was so scared and worried and heartbroken, I couldn't function. But Mark didn't seem to cope with anxiety the same way I did. He was talkative-- very questioning. He was jittery and nervous.

"Has she always been doing this?" he questioned, his face in his hands.

I swallowed hard. I knew about her self-harming for a while, but I never said anything to anyone about it. Not only because she told me not to, but because I thought I could handle it. I thought I had the power and capability to make her better. Clearly I did not, and I was wrong.

As if it took every muscle in me, I shook my head finally without making eye contact with Mark. I couldn't lie to him. At least, I couldn't lie to him as well as Natalie could. "I don't know."

"Why did she do this?" he looked over at me. "Did she tell you?"

Again, I shook my head. "I don't know. She didn't tell me anything."

"Did anything happen between you two tonight?"

Quickly, I moved my gaze to him. The blood began rushing to my face out of pure anger, but I held back because it was Mark. I wasn't going to snap at him. "What?"

"You guys fight all the time. Did you or did you not say something to her that made her upset?"

I laughed, but there was no humor or genuinity within it. It was drenched with disgust and shock. I couldn't believe he actually thought she did this because of me. "Are you asking me if this is my fault?"

He shook his head, but a part of me knew he doubted me. I hated that. "No. I just want to know why the hell she did this to herself!"

"If I knew I would tell you!" I fought back. I wasn't going to let him think any of it was my fault. "If you think for even a second that I caused this, you're crazy. I would never, ever hurt her."

"Oh, yeah?" he tested, turning his entire body to me. "Then why did she come home crying after you took her to the carnival, huh? She didn't have to tell me and I clearly saw that something was wrong."

My heart was beating fast, adrenaline pumping through my body. "I told you, I would never hurt her."

"You're a liar. You've hurt her before-- many times actually. You don't think I know how much she cries over you? I'm not stupid. I hear her almost every night crying when you're not around."

"She doesn't cry when I'm around though, right?" I was nearly on the edge of my seat. "She doesn't cry because I'm there with her. She knows that she can talk to me about anything and I will actually listen to her."