He loved him all his life.. Kung matatawag siyang dakilang martir at dakilang tanga, he would claim that title because he doesn't care about it. River was his first love. River will always be the one that he would want for the rest of his life.. Per...
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Dapat masaya ako sa araw na iyon. It was the day I have been waiting for.. Finally, I will be graduating from this University. Ang pakiramdam na nakasuot ako ng toga at tinatawag ang pangalan ko bilang cum laude ng Civil Engineering made me want to feel proud of myself. Pero hindi ko magawa. Para akong zombie na naglalakad patungo sa stage at inabot ang aking diploma na nakasilid sa isang case na may seal ng University.
I faked a smile to everyone trying to greet me and congratulate me at napatakbo naman si Mama sa stage upang isabit sakin ang aking medalya. She was happy but I know its heavy for her to see me in this state.
She tried to smile on the camera na nakatutok samin and when everything was done. We walked down the stage and get back to our seats at hinintay na matapos ang graduation ceremony.
Everyone was crying and laughing and hugging each other. But it was not the same for me. Matapos ang graduation ceremony ay agad kong pinuntahan si Mama sa kanyang kinauupuan but even before I got there ay nakasalubong ko na si River. Nagkatinginan kami pero mabilis niyang binawi iyon at mabilis na naglakad papalayo sakin. I want to grab his arm and tell him how sorry I am for everything.
Pero hindi ko magawa. Dahil kahit ano namang paghingi ng tawad ang gawin ko, hindi na maaalis noon ang katotohanan na nasira ko ang pangalan niya sa buonh University. Tara even broke up with him just because if the fact that he was my bestfriend. Hindi na siya pinagkatiwalaan nito. Everyone in the University thinks that he was gay like me.
"Congratulations Mr. Cum Laude!" bati sakin ng isang boses at napabaling ako rito. Nakangiti siya sakin at agad niya akong tinapik sa aking balikat.
"Salamat, Jared. Congratulations din. Sa wakas, natapos narin ang ilang taon nating paghihirap." saad ko sa kanya.
"Alam kong hindi naging maganda ang pagtatapos ng iyong college journey.. Pero sana naman, you will learn to move on at tanggapin mo ang katotohanan. That you loved a cold hearted person. At hindi niya deserve ang pagmamahal mo."
Tumango lang ako sa kanya. He has always been the kind person that will be there for me sa mga panahong kailangan ko ng may magpapaalala sakin ng kung ano ang dapat kong gawin.
"Thank you for being a good friend, Jared.. Sana hindi ka magbago, kahit magkalayo na tayo."
"Ako magbabago? Baka ikaw pa nga itong magbago." nakangiti niyang tugon sakin and somehow it made me smile.
"Paano yan.. Aalis na kami ng parents ko. We will have a small celebration pa kasi. At naghihintay narin siguro si Tita sa'yo sa benches. Puntahan mo na."
Nagpaalam sakin si Jared at ganun narin ang ginawa ko. I think I just have to move forward from now on. From all the pain that I have endured nang mabunyag sa bestfriend ko ang totoo kong nararamdaman. But I would be fooling myself.. If I will tell my heart to stop loving him, when all my heart wants is to love him till the end.
