One Ticket to Fill a Lacuna

Chapter 14 || Seat A21

Chapter 14-

            The man has long disappeared into the men’s bathroom at the train station, and yet I still can’t relieve myself of the skin crawling coldness situated inside of me.

            “Why did he ask about your seat?" Blaine inquires, minutes after the man vanishes.

            “I-I don’t r-r-really know.” I stutter, feeling a stale chill all over my body. The familiarity, the eyes, and the way he asked about a seat described by my father, then turned directly to me, is tearing me apart and I can’t put my finger on it as to why it is doing so. This man is a stranger, and maybe, just maybe he wasn’t even looking at me. Possibly, he’s just drunk and was staring off into space.

            But, I know when someone stares through you, and not at you. I get that feeling with my own mother constantly; that she never really looks at me. That man’s gaze was looking surface level, directly at me; not behind me, and not at some random spot in the train station. He looked at me.

            “He’s probably some crazy dud, Taryn. Leave him be. He likely doesn’t even know you, and since you don’t know him, there is absolutely nothing to fret about here. The train is coming in five minutes, either way. You need to forget anything that happens here and look ahead; upwards!” Blaine exclaims, throwing her hands up in elaborate gestures, pointing to the sky, which from my perspective, has been replaced by a musty maze of pipes and wires running the train station.

            “You should be a motivational speaker, Blaine. You’d be awfully good at it.” I tease her overdramatic pep talks. She grins cheekily at me before wrapping her black cardigan around herself comfortably.

            “I really should. But, that’s not the point. You have to look forward to getting on this train and possibly meeting your father very soon. You should be excited, Taryn! This is huge!”

            This is huge. But, the cold feeling won’t go away just because this significant thing is about to happen. I could meet my father right now and still ponder why some random stranger apparently knows a piece of knowledge relative to my family.

            The minutes tick by, and all the while, the man does not appear again. After asking his highly confusing question, he has disappeared and has left me out to dry, deciphering his words that could possibly, in reality, have absolutely no meaning to them whatsoever.

            Blaine puts her hand over mine, the warmth of her skin spreading along my arm. I look at her and she smiles. ‘It’ll be okay’ she mouths silently. I nod and listen as the train screeches into the station, losing speed and nearing the end of the tracks. The train is a rusty black color with golden trims; a beautiful gloss to its paint.

            “We’re ready,” I say, attempting to sound convinced, though I have yet to convince myself. Blaine nods and presents a toothy smile before gathering up her backpack, holding the tickets tightly in her hand. I slump my black knapsack over my shoulder and approach one of the train entrances, where a train attendant in a neat black and white uniform stands, ready to invite passengers inside.

            “Tickets, please,” the attendant requests in a fruity voice, like biting into a red delicious apple. Blaine gives the tickets to the woman, her hands shaking with what I take as excitement. I breathe steadily, listening to my heart thump inside my chest. The attendant tears off the stubs at the end of the tickets, hands the remainder back, and appoints us inside with an all-too-cheery smile.

            The train smells like a sweet croissant, and the aroma takes away some of the frigid sensation off of my skin. Some still lingers, giving me an uneasy pit inside of my stomach. I mumble the seat numbers as we tread through the different cars of the train.