One Ticket to Fill a Lacuna

Chapter 28 || Not All Farewells Are Forever

Chapter 28-

            “You’re back,” Blaine stands from the polka dot purple couch in the living room. My father shuffles away into some other part of the little blue house and I shut the door softly behind me. It has a fuzzy thud to it; a soft noise.

            Blaine stands in front of me and I let my backpack slump to the ground. “How did it go?” she requests.

            “It was…okay.” I say softly. For once, I’m shocked that I’m telling the truth. The entire ordeal of going to my mother and leaving her didn’t turn out to be as daunting as I’d initially thought it’d be. It was mellower and like pulling a tooth out; a quick, sharp pain before everything is okay again.

            I had expected my mother to lash out; revolt. But, instead, she was open, after some convincing, to change and fixing herself for the sake of fixing our relationship. She accepted what needed to happen, so the whole situation was ideal, in the fact of the matter.

            “Are you sure?” Blaine asks worriedly. I nod and try to recover from zoning out. I let my hand sit gently on her shoulder. She grins shyly.

            “I’m glad. But, what’s next?”

            I have pondered this as well, and I still have yet to come up with a satisfactory answer. I have no choice in how life will continue, so I have no power over what will happen next. However, my father does. He plays a huge role in my life, and has done so even when he wasn’t physically at home. Just the idea of him pushed me to do certain things. Like hide away and push away dark thoughts that would always come back. He knows how everything could play out, but refuses to tell me. It’s quite annoying, really. Even so, I’m thankful. It’s like someone handing you a book of how your entire life will go. You don’t often want to read further than your own present time, since you could find out unpleasant things that may consume you.

            “I don’t really want to find out just yet,” I tell her. She smirks.

            “You’ve…changed. A lot.”

            “I’d like to think that you mean in a good way,” I say while sauntering over to the couches, letting myself sink into the cushions.

            “Yeah, it’s in an amazing way,” she says in awe, her voice softly curious. “I’ve never seen you so at ease. Not since we met. Not ever. There’s always been this aura of stress surrounding you. Now, it’s just…gone.” She plops down gracefully next to me.

            “There’s not a lot to stress about when you accept that some things will stay unknown, no matter how hard you will try to find the answer to them.” I close my eyes and lean my head back into the couch pillows. “It’s like finishing a huge essay or project for school and once you’re finished, you can breathe again.”

            “A twelve year long essay,” Blaine says.

            I chuckle. “Yeah, like that.”

            We make easy small talk until my father walks in and asks in his sugary gruff tone, “Do you want to start moving boxes in? We figured out a room for you.”

            I nod excitedly and jump up. Before exiting, I turn around and motion to Blaine to follow. “Come help me unpack.”

            She grins and jogs to the car with me. We each get a box and haul them to my new room, a spacious, vintage-looking space right across the hall from my father. The walls are a simple white tone. Two washed out, light wood doors make up the closet. In one corner of the room sits a calm white bed frame and sponge-y mattress. Above it and around the entire room is a flowery trim like that on the outside of the home. The window is wide, tall, and low. It juts out of the house, leaving a small sitting area with two teal throw pillows and a drawer underneath.