Faded Promises

Live or Die

The last time we see each other, I want to see your smile; the reaper at the door...

"Norman is getting shipped out?" The realization was deafening.

"Mom." Ray started, "What happened to Emma's leg?"

"It's completely broken" She replied, "I told Lilian to do it. I thought she was getting rusty but she broke it well so don't worry. It will heal without a scar. But Emma will need rest. It will take a few months to completely heal. I hope it's healed by your birthday, Ray. Norman, make sure to give me that bag later. Ray, please assist Lilian. Let's go back to the house."

I was still on the ground, my voice hollow repeating 'I'm sorry' into the wind. My body still trembling but now I was without tears.

Ray came to me and helped me stand; he wiped away the tear stains on my cheeks.

"Why did you do that, Lilian?" Ray asked me, "You can say no to what she wants you to do, you know."

I couldn't answer him, I did have that choice... but I still did the wrong thing. I pushed myself away from him and headed back to the house not sparing any of them a glance.

Am I ready to tell them my suffering, I kept repeating. They would never understand. It didn't matter what would happen. My fate would stay the same...

+++

"It's about time. Thank you for your cooperation Lilian, for that I'll let you know...." Mother said, "That according to the headquarters they want to pull out Norman."

"What?" I asked in disbelief, "But he's the smartest one here. Why would they...?"

"It's a great opportunity." She answered vaguely, "That is all, you may go now."

What's dying have to do as an opportunity? Unless the Tea Party or...

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"You will do everything she says or face the consequences." A loud voice lectured me.

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"Welcome back Lilian." A sincere voice said, "I'm sorry, I thought you were ready for that. But now that you're here I won't let you go too soon again I promise."

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"What happened to you? Why did you disappear so suddenly...? So now you know too." Surprise was laced with their voice, "Then I guess I should tell you my plan."

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"Well while you were gone, the tests have been increasing in difficulty." A calm voice spoke, "I wanted to help you out so you can still keep up with us."

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"I want everyone to be happy; is that too hard to ask." A cheerful voice said, "I don't want to leave anyone behind. No matter what."

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"I'm sorry to make everyone worry." I said, "I didn't think my actions would have this kind of impact on you. I won't make another mistake like this again."

+++

I have to tell them... before I regret it...

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I stayed in my room, sketching anything that came to my mind. I wanted to take a break from the others, not trusting myself to hold back my feelings and the truth. I was ready to tell them everything... I wasn't scared to hold back anymore.

But now... I can't come to them anymore. I mean why would they listen to a true betrayer? I injured Emma on Mother's orders without hesitation. They will never forgive me. And with Norman being shipped out their defenses would be high.