The Spirit That Moves Mountains

Jeshua - Chapter 22

To permanently liberate myself from the bindings of this world, I was guided by the Holy Spirit to spend time in the solitude of the desert. Fasting, meditation, and prayer without distraction was recommended by many of my earthly teachers as well.

Admittedly, I had been putting off the longest stretch I would ever encounter. An unspoken part of me resisted complete alone time in the desert. This was the last aspect of me that resisted my Father. That is, until now.

I did not tell many people that I was going to do it. Just a few. My wife, Mary. My close friends, Thomas and Thaddeus and Thomas's wife, Isaah. The other brothers and sisters who had been traveling with us slumbered soundly in the home and courtyard where we had stopped to visit in Nazareth.

It was well suited that I was attempting to shed all of my conscious ties with my earthly body by sitting in the familiar wilderness near my birthplace.

Here is what you call a spoiler alert: I didn't really spend forty days and forty nights in the wilderness. That was just made up to fit some of the prophecies in the Old Testament. I actually spent just over three weeks in the wilderness. Plus, I did not go without food or water. Granted, I ate a very restricted diet and barely ate or drank in that entire period.

It is true that I did receive most of my nourishment by staying in connection with God and the Holy Spirit, but I did nibble on some figs, dates, and olives. I also made sure that I took some sips of water in the morning and evening.

I knew that this alone time spent well away from any recognizable town or populous would be one of the most challenging experiences of my life. I trained for this but still wasn't exactly sure what to expect. Mary and I had been married recently, and I wondered how much my longing to be with her would disrupt my connection with Father.

Happily, I found the first few days relatively easy. I had done plenty of week-long fasts, and my record at that time was almost ten days. My intention was not a set a number of sunrises or sunsets but instead to leave the wilderness area when I felt that I was free of any conflicts within my own mind and heart.

When I went out into the wilderness, I did not go to the middle of the desert so that the sun could bake my skin like an old oxen hide. I probably could have tried that if this had been the time I was meant to demonstrate the illusory nature of our bodies, but that teaching lesson was to occur later.

I wandered for a bit until I found an olive tree with a stout trunk that would support my weight when I wanted to sit or lean against something. It was also just tall enough that I could sit underneath its branches without worrying about being scratched or bumping my head. The bark in the trunk was twisted in such a way that it acted like a large chair back to support my frame.

This is it, I thought. Not a town for miles. The perfect place to retreat from the world without being discovered.

A humble Buddhist monk taught me to meditate when I visited India. I learned how to sit properly, with or without back support. I learned how to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth at a slow, steady pace. He showed me that the key to meditation is allowing any and all thoughts to simply enter the mind and then continue on, untouched and without any judgment attached.

My determination increased until I had cleared my mind of any thoughts that might try to trick me and keep me attached to the physical world. It was in this space of no thought that I knew I would be closer to my Father but not necessarily in full union.

It took several hours on the first day to reach this state of no mind, or nothingness—no small feat for anyone but something became easier for me to achieve throughout my life for three reasons: (1) I practiced a lot; (2) I really enjoyed how it felt; and—most important—(3) I knew that if I quieted my mind it would be much easier to join with God. And that is something that I wanted very much, even from my earliest memory as a child. It was like I came into this world with instructions to do just that.