ptx oneshots (meau, scomark, scomiche, KATT, Keigh, Kirstie and Ben, etc.)

fingers crossed pt 1 (hausdonado)

AN: trigger warning:

mention of PTSD

mention of sexual assault/rape

(Don't worry, Ben doesn't hurt Kirstie)

Kirstin sat in the waiting room, more anxious then she had ever been in her entire life. She had only met Ben a few minutes ago, and by no means, did she want to be "the new girl that caused Ben to die." That was her worst fear, after her last job. But nothing could be worse than that. She could be called a million names, told she was doing bad a thousand more, and it still wouldn't compare to the trauma she felt going into any work office, especially the boss's. Her worst fear, was being placed in an office to work. She couldn't physically. The memories would flood back, it would just not be possible. If she had to, she would quit, before she would be placed in one of those. 

 The place where he touched her a little too aggressively, the place where he took her virginity. The place where she would be scarred forever and understand the importance of consent. The place where she felt helpless, worthless, like a piece of shit, that she was nothing better than a object to be called at a man's want, and tossed away when they were done. She was pretty sure that was the definition of trash. She was trash, and she blamed herself for it. She hadn't had a boyfriend since, and she struggled to open up to people. Because of him. The evil bastard she had wished would just disappear. But she saw him every night in her dreams. She felt the eerie vibe of the silence, and then she felt the shock all over again, as she was being thrown over the desk, and then... that. The moment she would never forget, that would replay every night in her head. That action that changed her life forever. He, who changed her life forever. And as much as everyone wanted her to forgive,  she couldn't and she didn't have to. There was one person who understood that. Not her mom, her dad, but her best friend, Mitch. 

 Kirstie's mind flashed through all the times she had cried on Mitch's shoulder, and he let her.  All the times he had threatened to kick his ass. All the times he lifted her up. All the times he made her choices feel valid. All the times he told her to do her. All the times he was there to listen and let her rant. All the times that he said she didn't have to forgive him. Because like he told her time and time again, her experience was nothing anyone could vouch for or give advice on. No one had ever been through what Kirstie did, there was no comparison. She had been violated. It wasn't something small and forgivable. And she just couldn't act like it didn't happen. Mitch made her realize that. 

That's why she quit her job, so she wouldn't worry about having to forgive him, because really, it was draining her mental health, having to see his face, let alone, speak to him, apologize to him. That was just something she couldn't do. And being in that space, she risked it reoccurring. And then the replay wouldn't just be in her dreams. Mitch helped her gain the power to live in the best way for herself. And she thought, she would feel much better, but after Ben had already had some reason that he could hate her, the replay became more realistic and imaginable.  Kirstie started heavily breathing, and tears were streaming down her face. She felt trapped. Ben hadn't even done anything to her, he seemed like the sweetest person, but since she had gave him a reason to hate her, she felt like she was doomed. Even if she quit this job, she was sure she would give another reason to another man to do that. She was trash and she would be trapped in a cycle of usage. 

The tears and pain were showing on her face, and she was hopeless. She knew one and only way to fix that. She needed Mitch. She pulled her phone out and dialed Mitch's number on the keypad. Yes, she had it saved. She just smiled every time she remembered his number. It reminded her of how many calls she had made to him, how many times he helped. And Kirstie smiled for the first time that she smiled that day. She put the phone up to her ear, and began tapping her fingers on the armrest of her chair, as she anxiously waited for Mitch to pick up. After the 5th ring, it went to his cute little voicemail that he recorded with Beau and she smiled. "Hi. This is Mitch Grassi. I can't answer my phone. Because my boyfriend's being too cute.  You heard Beau's little precious laugh at the end. He was probably with Beau, she didn't want to bother him. She sighed, the tears still streaming down her face, and she hung up.

She was putting her phone back in her pocket, when she heard a ding.

Mitchy <3: heyyyyy babe!! i'm sorry i didn't answer. beau's asleep. how's your job?? any cute guys??

Kirstie: Not exactly. Mitchy, I need you.

Mitchy <3: Kirst, baby, what's wrong?? Did someone put their hands on you?? I will beat their ass.

Kirstie: No, Mitchy. don't worry. i just feel trapped. i already gave my boss a reason to hate me. i'm trash. i will just be an object again, it's fine.

Mitchy <3: Kirst, baby. You are not trash. You deserve to be loved by someone who loves you. And don't worry, I'm sure he doesn't hate you. It's not that bad, probably. And you will not be an object again. I won't let you.

Kirstie: It's bad. I'm at the hospital with him. They say it's not my fault, but I don't know if he'll believe that. Every man, has it after me. It's in my blood. I'm trapped.

Mitch: Kirst, which hospital?? And that's not true. I'll be right over baby.

Kirstie sent him the name of the hospital and waited for him to come barging through the door with his warm hugs, and sweet smiles that comforted her. She waited, as tears streamed down her face.

Mitch came through the door, and ran over to Kirstie, embracing her in the biggest hug.

A nurse came over to Kirstie then. "Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Maldonado, but Ben wants to see you." 

Kirstie froze, with shock and fear in her eyes and Mitch crossed his fingers in a prayer for her.

AN: y'all there will be a pt 2 soon!! thanks for reading!!