Renegade

Chapter 12 | Count Back From Ten

"Are you going to be ok?" He asked suddenly with a concern that couldn't be missed.

I paused for a second unable of how to respond to that. "Yes." I started "Yeah I'm going to be fine." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. "But I have to have a quick little surgery first. Then I'll be all better."

"What's a surgery?" I looked down again, mesmerizing green eyes meeting mine.

"It's when a doctor-" I had to think about the rest of that sentence since I didn't feel like It's when a doctor cuts someone open and fixes them would be an appropriate answer for the 5 year old. "-fixes people."

"But why do you need urgery?" A small smile crept onto my face from his use of the word urgery.

"Well, the bones in my wrist are fractured, so the doctor has to put some screws into the bone so it can get better." I hoped my description wasn't too graphic.

He paused before asking: "Did my dad break the bones?"

I wondered whether to answer this question or not. If I said yes, would he feel guilty? Would it make him more scared of this own father? If I said no, was it wrong to lie to him? He would eventually find out anyway. But he's just a child.

Luckily, my uncomfortable pause was interrupted by Dr. O'Malley popping his head through the door. I focused my attention on him although I was pretty sure my hesitation told Caleb all he needed to know. He was a smart kid, more than people give him credit for.

"Your parents have consented to the surgery. It's best we do it as soon as possible so we can get the bones back into place. The longer we wait, the harder the surgery will be." I nodded slowly and he exited the room, letting Julie enter.

"So Mom and Dad are signing the documents saying that they consent to the surgery." Julie pointed out as she took a seat next to me.

"Will you take care of Caleb while they do the surgery?" I looked down at him and he at me.

Julie nodded. I silently thanked her. It's funny how alike we looked. We both had olive skin, sky blue eyes, our hair being one of the only things different about us (and just barely). Mine, an almost pin straight caramel brown mixed into natural highlights, hers a deep chocolate with a slight wave.

Only as I was admiring our similar features did I see a thin gloss covering her eyes, she sniffled a bit a looked down. "Hey are you ok Jules?" I reached over putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah." She sniffled, dragging her hand to wipe her under eyes. "Yeah sorry I'm just nervous is all. It's just that surgery is a big deal and I know it's just your hand but..." Julie made no further attempt to hide that she was indeed crying. "... I mean things can go wrong in there. We never know and it's just scary."

"I know this is scary but always remember that the Smiths are fighters. We always bounce back." She met my identical eyes. "Do you remember when I was 10 and my appendix burst? You were only 8 at the time and you were hysterical when they took me into emergency surgery because you thought I was going to die. You cried and cried and cried. And you didn't stop crying until I woke up." I glanced over at her with a smirk, she rolled her eyes.

"Well it wouldn't have burst if you had gone to the hospital earlier." She replied annoyingly.

"The point is-" I started emphasizing her to listen. "-I survived then, and I'll survive now. I promise." Julie gave me a grateful smile just as the doctor walked in.

"So we have to take you up to surgery now." He looked as though he knew he was interrupting something.

"Can we just have one more minutes please?" Julie begged. O'Malley's face twisted as though he was thinking about if it was a good idea yet eventually complied.

"Ok but not too much longer ok?" We nodded and the door closed behind him.

Julie's eyes filled with tears again burrowing her face into my shoulder as I patted her back slightly. I think the stress of having a neighbor violently attack your sister will do that to you. I placed a small kiss on her forehead whispering lightly: "I promise you I'm going to be just fine. I promise."

She nodded and quickly dried her tears away. I then directed my attention to Caleb who seemed to have no idea what was going on. "Caleb, I'm going to have to go for a while ok?" I watched his delicate features twist into a confusion. "Just a little bit. I promise I will be back." He eyes widened.

"No don't go." His voice was shaking. "Why are you going?" His voice was soft almost a whisper. I hugged him tight to me.

"I promise you it will only be a little bit. Julie's going to keep you company a while I'm gone and then I'll be back." I half expected another tantrum. I braced for one but it never came. I few tears yes, but not a tantrum which I was thankful for.

I was still hugging Caleb close when they doctor entered the room slowly with the transport team. "I'm sorry but we have to take you now." I nodded slowly handing Caleb off to Julie which he didn't mind. I was glad that he trusted Julie too because I couldn't have left him without knowing he would be ok.

I was rolled out of the room but not before flashing Julie a small reassuring smile which she returned. Outside of the room were my parents looking worried as well. "Oh honey." My mom rushed over and the bed halted. "We love you so much! Good luck my angel." She kissed my forehead much like I did to Julie and called my dad over.

"Good luck kiddo." He grabbed my good hand reassuringly and squeezed rather hard before letting go and inhaling deeply.

The bed rolled away again. "I'll see you soon." I mouthed to them and I hoped they got the message before we turned a corner leaving them out of sight. I stared straight up at as I was rolled through more hallways. I exhaled deeply finally feeling the extreme throbbing of my left wrist without a distraction. I though back to the days events and breathed deeply. Tear pricked my eyes and I soon realized I didn't have to be strong right now. All day I had been trying to be strong for Caleb, for Julie, for my parents, trying to be positive and reassuring. But now I didn't have to reassure anyone and I sure as hell didn't have to be positive because this sucked. It really did. It was a crap situation and I starting thinking maybe I wasn't old enough to handle it. I'm fifteen for God's sake and I just got my wrist fractured my my neighbor who's kid I stole.

I chuckled a little at this. It really shouldn't be funny. It isn't. It's serious. But my laughter didn't stop, it only increased. Soon I was full- on laughing of the absurdity of the predicament I had gotten myself into.

Soon I was lifted into a table and I was being told to count back from ten. My laughter died down and tears streaked my face yet I still couldn't actually comprehend what was happening.

"10." I began through a soft chuckle. I'm getting surgery.

"9." I continued strong. I was attacked by my neighbor.

"8." My words faltered slightly and my eye lids felt heavy. I kidnapped a child.

"7." My eyes shut and I could hear my words began to fail me. I had gotten myself into this situation.

"6." It was murmured but it was there. What would I be doing right now if I hadn't gone into that house?

"5." The last number I could muster came out as a hoarse whisper before I felt my conscious drift away.

What would I be doing right now if I hadn't gone into that house?