I don't think I trust anyone

Part 37

-y/n's POV-
I had my legs wrapped around Ruel's body and he carried me up to our room and locked the door this time. He then pushed me against the wall and kissed down my neck. His lips were warm against my skin and my body craved for his touch. He pulled his hoodie off of my body leaving me in my bra and shorts. I gently pushed him onto the bed and climbed on him connecting our lips again. He placed his hands on my hips pulling my body close to his and I tangled my hands in his hair yet again. The kiss was deepened and Ruel's tongue explored my mouth. He then pulled back a but and spoke between the kiss.
Ruel: y-y/n..
Y/n: mhm
I just hummed in response
Ruel: I-I
He pulled away and gently pushed me off him and stood up quickly.
Ruel faced away from me and I sat up speechless, I didn't know what was happening.
Ruel: I can't do this...
Y/n: Ruel did I do something wrong?
Ruel: no. It's me. I can't hurt you
I put my hand on his bear shoulder and he turned to me.
Y/n: I promise you won't hurt me
Ruel: y/n I just can't ok. I can't be the one for you.
My heart broke as he said that and my body was overwhelmed with all these different feelings.
Y/n: your the only one I want Ruel and that won't change.
Ruel: well it needs to because I'm not good for you.
He grabbed his shirt that I had dropped on the floor and slid it over his body and walked out.
I couldn't help but feel like I did something wrong. I was so confused on what just
happened. Did he not want me?
A tear slipped from my eye and the emotion took over and I began to cry. I kept thinking about what just happened and what Ruel said. 
I could still smell his sent on my skin and I just wanted him here.
What did he mean by "I can't hurt you"
And "I'm not good for you" these thoughts kept repeating over in my head as i cried myself to sleep.
-Ruel's POV-
I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my body then walked out the door.
It broke my heart to leave y/n there.
I couldn't hurt her. She's so beautiful and I can't wreck that, I always wreck everything.
Trust me I wanted to stay, it took every part of me to stop.
I walked downstairs and sat by the pool where y/n and I were previously.
I could smell her perfume on my shirt and that made me crave her more than I already was.
I watched the water and tears began to form in my eyes.
I hate doing this to her.
Her life would be better off if I wasn't here.
The tears began to fall and I couldn't stop
them.
I was just completely broken by what I had done. I couldn't go back in there, she would just be mad at me, and so she should. I'm an idiot. I love her and I know she deserves better than this.
But I can't give her what she needs