The Heartbreak Club

Not Here, Not Now

The day of filming was jam packed with promos. I'd been starved and fitted for weeks. I was perfection in sequins. Outshine this, Byron. I thought.

I watched from a balcony as the streets began to fill in with people. Sound stages were set up for live performances. Plus we'd cut to other T News live locations. But we were it. We were live from New York. The thought made me dry heave.

They say it's the moment you're least expecting it and it's true. I don't know why, but it is. That's why my phone vibrated right then.

"Good luck tonight." Text from Tony.

I leaned against the wall. Couldn't sit, dress was too tight. He'd seen our TV promos. There'd only been a million of them.

"You don't hate me?" I replied. Dramatic and genuine.

"Not for lack of trying."

I felt the waves of crying but nothing came out. My tear ducts were plastered closed with airbrushed makeup.

"I'll walk away right now if you want to spend NYE in the park together."

"Calm down, Emma. This a big night for you. I will be in the area though because my friend's band is playing."

"Hit me up, I'd love to say hi."

"See you."

I was breathing heavy, bracing myself on the wall. I don't know why (like scientifically) but it's not advisable to have your heart and breath accelerated that much in a dress that tight. Something about cutting off circulation.

The knock on the door was timely.

"Hi," I said. Caden pushed into my dressing room. "Oh, Emma. You're stunning."

"I need help." I struggled to rest my legs by leaning on the vanity counter.

"What's wrong?"

"Just nervous."

"Don't be. You were made for this."

"Well, we know I wasn't made for academics."

He laughed before getting serious.

"You can do anything." His eyes lingered on me. His stare was intent and obedient. I hadn't seen him that way before.

Once I felt better, he extended a bent arm to properly escort me to my mark.

The producer was struggling to attach my mic. I tried to stay serious and not look directly at him.

"Your dress leaves no room for the Holy Ghost," he said. We'd worked together before.

"Sorry," I said.

"Steven!" Byron called to a famous frontman. "Are you going to be around? Open with us."

I was in shock. We had a script, we had outlined segments and he was crashing through all that. I guess that's why he's Byron Hillcrest. He knows in an instant what will resonate with audiences.

"Emma, Steven. Steven, Emma," he said. The light above the camera turned on.

Strong hands grabbed the sides of my face, I felt huge lips on mine.

"Whoa!" Steven screeched and let go of me. "Emma, you're sweet!"

Byron laughed and spoke into the lens.

"Anything goes, so stay, don't leave. It's T News and it's New Years Eve." That was my cue, but I was frazzled.

"Uh, we're in Time Square, ready to kick off..." Something was written on the large sign held under the camera but my brain was spinning, preventing reading. "Well, it's not you because you're with us," I said to Steven. He grabbed by microphone and wailed the name of the band into the sound system. The crowd roared.

I blinked trying to clear my eyes.

"Good improvise," Byron said. I understood what his past co-hosts had been through.

"I'm out," Steven smacked me and Byron on our backsides before walking away. Byron shrugged at me.

We got through the next several segments before Byron spotted another celebrity and called them over to do a shout out with us. I grew more comfortable as the night went on.

I kept seeing Caden milling around. I scanned the crowds for Tony. My eyes roved thousands of times before I saw him. My knees fell weak.

I wanted him to look at me but I didn't get eye contact before our next clip started. Makeup was all over me during the commercial break.

As I turned toward the camera and saw the light turn on, a familiar face was in front of me. What was he doing? My body processed faster than my mind, all the blood drained from me. I was still confused, he was lowering down. What? OMG!

He held a small box in front of him, pulling it open slowly. I heard the composite gasp of tens of thousands of people. But how could they all see us? I looked up to the huge screen casting live. Oh. I glanced back at the camera. How many were watching? Then, I saw him, watching close by. A look of horror on his face.

"Marry me?" the man in front of me asked.

I whimpered involuntarily, it blasted throughout the speakers. How could he do this to me here? Now? Didn't he know that this was private? The last thing I wanted to broadcast.

I couldn't breathe, I swallowed air, choking. Gulp.

"What do you say, Emma?" Byron asked. He encouraged the crowd to cheer.

I glanced between the two faces I cared about. Both on the verge of heartbreak. I wanted out, I wanted to run. I wish none of this ever happened. I felt him grab my hand and slip something on my finger. The crowd erupted. Had I said yes? What happened? My vision began to narrow. Smaller and smaller, the circle closed until it was dark.