destiel oneshots- fluff and smut

9 (fluff/smut)

    the leather interior on the recliners in the bunker made my back feel sweaty and pants feel too tight, and so it made sense to me when i walked in on cas undressing himself and folding his button down over the brown armrest of the lazy boy.
his coat was sprawled out on the ground and yet he still took the time to neatly fold his wrinkly white shirt, the last two buttons still done up. my grip tightened on the side of the door frame, hiding myself from view as a child watching santa claus.
i watched him stretch his arms in the air and sigh deeply, twisting his neck before running both hands through his hair and plopping down. it astonished me how comfortable he seemed to be when he did that. he could lye, almost completely naked, in a big empty room. not a care in the world.
the idea almost excited me, the thought of him knowing that i or sam could walk in at any second, the thought of him being alright with me seeing his bare torso, completely exposed to the outside. i bit my lip and moved back behind the door frame.
it felt like i was sixteen again; just yearning for the touch of another person, feeling a sudden rush whenever a guy brushed past me.
i ran a hand down my chest while staring up at the space between the wall and the ceiling. it had been so fucking long since i'd touched another boy like that, another person like that.
seeing cas walk around with his top buttons undone, or his hair messy from working all day. seeing him sigh in frustration. all i wanted to do was make that feeling go away. i wanted to run my thumb over the bags under his eyes. i wanted to kiss his nose and mouth, his collarbone and up down his stomach.
it felt like some sort of disease, but it turned me on so much thinking of some virgin-to-male-touch that could arise from just simply being in the same room as him.
i groped myself and looked back into the room. cas was asleep with his puppydog hair draped over his eyes, and his head had fallen over the side of the recliner.
i moved back.
i remember the first time i was touched like that was by a boy in this christian home my dad made me stay in. i was sixteen and the boy was a year my senior, very tall and relatively muscular. said told me his name, but to call him whatever i wanted as long as it meant something. i thought that was cute and called him alain because the way he spoke was very reminiscent to alain delon.
we shared a room and i remember coming out of our bathroom and seeing him, completely naked, and thinking how strange it seemed that someone with the same size balls as me could look so good. i remember immediately going back into the bathroom all while saying "sorry, sorry," but then never being able to live down the feeling.
it reminded me of walking in on cas changing. the same body parts, same equipment, but his body gave me a feeling that couldn't compare to the likes of my own.
i guess it comes from idolizing these bad-boy figures growing up. my dad never let me listen to my own music in the car, thinking that listening to westlife would turn me into a puff.
i rubbed my now tired eyes and sat on the floor where i was standing against the wall.
i thought about the kid from christian school and how he liked it when i called him alain because he knew i had a crush on him. he told me once, when i was half asleep, he started talking in a whisper in the bunk above me.
"you know, i used to have a crush on a boy when i was younger."
"what?"
"this singer, i saw him on mtv and thought he was the shit."
i shifted in my bed. i could feel myself getting hard just thinking about this other boy having feelings for another boy.
"the guitarist for guns n' roses, the first time i watched him move those fingers along those chords,"
"you're gay?" my whisper was so soft and quiet, i thought he wouldn't hear me.
he snorted and i heard him turn around or move somewhere. then i saw his face peak out from above the covers hiding my own, and down at me he stared. it was so dark but i saw his hair fall and his leg slip over the side of the bed, and then his whole body. he was so quiet and slim, but i could make out every feature of his shoulders.
"you're not?" he gently smiled. i shook my head quickly and he just stood there. i sat up and watched him.
the first move made was by me, i just reached out quickly and gently jabbed my fingernail into his stomach.
"ow," he laughed and reached down to touch my arm. i pulled it back and stood up, and he took both my wrists and i started breathing very heavily. i felt so different and so brand new in that moment, as though i had just broken some sort of fourth wall into a whole other dimension. i opened my mouth and another heavy breath came out before moving my head upward and grinding my lips on his chin. he sighed precariously and leaned down to kiss the side of my mouth, then just my top lip, until his lips were moving along the whole of my mouth, and i made a soft sound when he did that. he smiled, i felt him smile into the side of my cheek, and heard his breathing become softer and more comfortable. he wrapped his arm around me, the other one he moved to my mouth, dragging his thumb between our lips as he kissed me.
i thought about cas doing that, and how much it turned me on to know that this boy's hand was in my mouth. how dirty it made me feel knowing that this hand could have been in his pants only seconds before. we kissed for several minutes before hearing long footsteps rush down the hall, and seeing the light of a flashlight against the bottom of our door. our fingers intertwined and i leaned onto his collarbone, trying to repress both a laugh and a sigh of excitement.
the nun walked on, and i felt the boy's breath into the back of my neck, and felt a hand travel up my naked back, pulling my shirt up with it.
i watched his figure gently sway with mine from a shadow made by the small amount of moonlight sinking in from the window in our room.
i shot wide awake when i heard a door slam in the bunker. i looked up and stood up, seeing stars as i did. cas woke up immediately, and pulled the sleeves of his shirt on. i ran a hand through my hair and stumbled in the room.