Night

The Beginning

It has been ages since I spoke to anyone. The nature around me seems to mock me in a way by producing the worst sound possible, silence. The trees were still from the lack of wind, and there were barely any insects roaming around to complete their daily task of finding food. The sun slipped through the empty spaces between the tree leaves, imitating dangerous lasers that could burn someone's skin at the slightest touch. It was hot, humid, and completely quiet.

I already hunted down enough food for myself, packed some of it for the way to go into my century old backpack, and prepared myself for the next part of my journey. I had to find water.

Climbing the tallest tree I could lay sight on, I scanned the surrounding area for any visible sign of any body of water. The trees stretched endlessly for miles, covering all surrounding ground without a trace of them ever ending. Looking further into the distance, large mountains loomed over the forest, casting its shadow over the land beneath it. The layer of trees were covered by a blanket of thick fog. That mountain was where I needed to head to.

I don't know the date or year, as that information is the least important thing on any persons mind. Come to think of it, I lost track of the years I spent surviving, I think it was 17.

I hastily climbed down the tree, picked up my green rusty old backpack and began walking ahead. Strapped to my belt was a music player, containing over 3,000 songs, each lyric memorized by heart. Around my neck were my headphones, that only worked when I wore them correctly over my ears. The two devices were not connected by any wire, they worked by a Bluetooth connection, and the player got charged by solar energy. Both of these devices I made myself.

Choosing my favorite song, 'who wants to live forever- by Freddy Mercury' I immediately felt less lonely, hearing someone's voice euphoniously chant a beautiful harmonious song. It helped a great deal when dealing with such deafening silence.

There are times it feels as if the music is teaching my brain how to flow, how to be peaceful. It's as if the slowly changing tone touches different parts, a sort of auditory massage for my mind. It is an invitation for slowness and to feel the presence of myself, the ever patient version of me who waits to be spoken to, and is content to do so. There are times light, wind and nature do the same, yet differently, each in their own way. Today is a day of music, to feel the soul within.

I hated love songs, since I never could imagine the connection they were all singing about. It wasn't something I could even remotely relate to. It did, however, sound nice. Yet that was all it is, just a story that left me feeling more alone than ever. Love? Happiness with someone else? Total bullshit. How did anyone even think of that. The best possible way to live is independently... that way no one can get hurt. Because that pain settles over you like a permanent scar, always reminding you of what you did wrong, and the consequences that unfolded because of you. People like me do not deserve to feel loved.

I turned my focus on Freddie's words, his voice filling my thoughts and senses. This was far better than any love song ever written.

***
I stared at my feet taking the same even steps for around an hour. The only difference I felt was the ground getting mushier. My feet were slowly sinking into the ground, signifying that there is a mud pool nearby. Carefully choosing my steps, I approached the brown, gooey substance.

Getting on my knees, I grabbed a handful of mud, spread it on my face and slicked my hair back with it. This coverage blocked my smell from anyone trying to track me down. It also covered my features so that any trespasser would not be able to recognize me without the layer of mud on my face. Even though I haven't spotted a single soul for miles now, precautionary measures never betray me. Better to be safe than sorry. Now I had a fresh layer of mud on my face, right on top of the old cemented one. I got used to the smell of dirt and feces all over me, there wasn't really any choice in this matter.

Standing up, I fixed myself, and checked the knives I placed in different parts of my outfit. Patting on my pockets, my boots, and my waist, I noted that they were all still intact.
Time to continue.