The Husband Checklist

6. checklist therapy

"Girl, you need some mint chocolate chip ice cream," Aaminah stated matter-of-factly.

Aaminah believed that everything could be solved with the delightful taste of ice cream.

"The mint will soothe your soul. The chocolate because you deserve it," she said, quoting Rupi Kaur. I must admit that the ice cream flavour had never failed to disappoint, and this was just one more incident that testified to its perfection.

After a series of jokes, and Aaminah's mini bayaans about how this would definitely be a great step forward for me, I was feeling much better.

"You deserve the absolute best. Let's secure some Rishtas," she giggled.

"Oh please! Who even says Rishtas, Madam? Anywho, I'm all for these samoosa run things at this point. You never know a guy even if you know him, know what I mean?"

"I have an idea! Let's write a husband checklist! Absolute gamechanger. Write an ode to my genius mind," she joked.

"What even is a husband checklist?" I enquired.

Eventually we'd agreed to the definition of a husband checklist. It was a list of requirements people create for their future husbands in order to make sure that the man they choose to marry is "Mr Right." It's the manifestation of "How to build a better boy."

Our pens glided over the sheets of paper before us, before we concluded, after nearly forty-five minutes. We had created the ideal vision of our Prince Charming, and we made a firm resolution to stay pure till this perfectly described male walked into our lives.

"Okay, but let's do some scouting. Not finding people, obviously. Let's just think of potential matches."

"Mmm, tall, handsome, stubble, chocolatey eyes but with that hard, distant look, possibly on the run from the law..." I said dreamily.

We giggled in unison. Aaminah and I always described popular celebrities or movie characters when speaking about our 'dream men.' It was all for laughs, and more often than not, the guy I ended up describing was Toni Mahfud in looks and Zayn Malik in personality. I was that girl.

"Be serious, silly," Aaminah chided. "Write down your list of what you want your true partner-in-crime, companion in Jannah, and husbae to be like. Personality, looks, akhlaaq, and everything in between. Whatever you want, write it, then pray for it."

My powdery pink and grey bullet journal was stashed safely in my satchel. I carried it with me everywhere, just in case I ever needed to take notes or catch a conversation, for the benefit of my writing. I chose a glittery pink Typo pen from Aaminah's stationery holder. Pink had always been my favourite colour, and I seem to fall for its feminine touch more often these days. In fancy hand-lettered calligraphy, I titled the page, "The Husband Checklist."

I began to ponder over what I should put onto this list. I didn't want it to be superficial, young or naive. I wanted it to truly be a reflection of my ideal partner. It could prove as a sort of springboard for my future - I believed strongly in the "Law Of Attraction," and knew that Allah would accept my duas. This was my chance to solidify everything I wanted and would beg for in my duas.

I allowed my hand to correspond with my mind, and wrote whatever my heart desired. Soon, the words flowed onto the page, and the checklist came into being. Little boxes were placed neatly in a column on the left hand side of the page. Next to them, my requirements were listed, so that I could tick them off for every guy I was interested in, met on a samoosa run, or simply thought was "husband material."

I looked at my list.

The Husband Checklist

⬜ Haafidh
⬜ Aalim
⬜ Regular In Jamaat
⬜ Has a Sheikh and is involved in Khanqah
⬜ Beard
⬜ Good Akhlaaq
⬜ Has never had a girlfriend
⬜ Has good friends
⬜ Believes in homeschooling
⬜ Doesn't have any social media
⬜ Is from a pious family
⬜ Handsome (I mean, to me)

Satisfied with my list, I closed my diary and felt an immense sense of relief. Yusuf was nothing like that. He was boyfriend, not husband, material.

I could be pure and obtain the kind of man who ticked every box on my checklist.

With a deep breath, I envisioned myself leaping into the future, with all the grace and purity that I should have retained from the very beginning.