Your Love

Ashton

Deshaun's POV

I'm still hurting. I haven't seen Jayde ever since 3 weeks ago when she broke up with me. It kills me to hear that she's with some other lame nigga and not with me. I go to sleep every night thinking about her when she should be laying right in my arms. It really does hurt. I'm usually not the type to hold down a girl. Ask anyone. In grade 12, I had these thirsty girls going after me. Yes, I did sleep with a few of them but I wasn't the type to talk to them after cause I knew I couldn't handle a relationship until Jayde came along. I fell for her which was probably the dumbest shit I've ever done in my life and will never happen again. I dropped my guard for her and opened up to her because something about her was different then the rest. Yes, I still do want her so bad but I know if we ever got back together, some things will never be the same. We'd look at each other with with love but not the same love we once shared.

I constantly think about every moment we've had. I flash back to the times we spent together. Our first kiss where I caught her off guard while we were at her house, the time I punched a guy that was touching her at the party and how scared yet impressed she was of me. The time we spent hours just mindlessly talking as we smoked a blunt or two but the memory that burns and kills me the most was when she told me she'll always be by my side.

"Through anything that's thrown at us, through thick and thin, nothing will stop me from loving you. I'll ride for you no matter what.. there's something about your love I just can't escape."

Her exact words repeated in my head. I could hear her soft sweet voice confessing that to me after we first made love. She laid on my chest, our bare skins touching eachother. I stroked her perfect light brown hair as she drew circles with her finger on my skin. I held her petite white body close to me. I've never heard such passionate and sincere words be spoken to me before... it's probably why I believed her and fell for her so easily. Jayde made me feel and love like nobody ever has before. I fell under her spell now to only realize all we ever had were pure lies. Every confession, every moment, every kiss... all lies and I was stupid enough to believe it. I let her tear down my guarded walls only to have her throw the bricks at me. I was her rider. I gave her everything I had. I was so into her but clearly she didn't give a shit about me. Fuck love. All it does is play you, then destroy you. I thought about the words that Niya said to me. It's true. I was different for her. I treated everyone like shit and even at one point, I treated Niya that way too but why did I choose to be soft for Jayde? It's crazy how Niya can read me without me even telling her anything.

I took my mind of of Jayde by rolling a blunt. I sat in front of my window, looking out into the night lights of Toronto as I exhaled. Where did we even go wrong?

Sooner or later, my vision started slurring but I didn't care. My mind was somewhere else. Somewhere I could only dream of being to leave this unstoppable pain. I know I sound soft and shit right now but I don't care. My phone started ringing and Niya's name popped up on the screen. I was in my own world and I wasn't ready to leave but I picked up the phone anyway.

Niya's POV

"Hey." Deshaun's voice was raspier then usual. "D?" "Yes princess." "What are you doing right now? You're smoking aren't you?" I already knew the obvious answer. "I'm somewhere else right now." "Fix up D. How many time have you done it this week alone?!" I raised my voice at him getting frustrated. "Relax, it's not your problem so..." "Bye." I hung up on him immediately. I haven't checked on him in 2 weeks and this is the shit he's doing? Yes, I know I did smoke with him but that was a different story considering the fact that I haven't smoked since the 12th grade. The sound of my apartment door opening interrupted my thoughts. I looked over to find him wearing a plain grey tracksuit with Jordan Futures. I smiled at the sight of my boyfriend, Ashton.

He closed the door and headed over to me on the couch. "Hi baby." he greeted me with a quick kiss. "Mhm." He pulled away but I stared at his lips craving for more. I haven't seen him for too long and all I want is to be close to him right now. "I got us some food." he smiled while revealing a bag of McDonalds. As he leaned down to put the bag on the table, I stared at his beautiful brown eyes, then at his lips. I guess he noticed me examining him because he plopped down beside me on the couch and wrapped one of his arms around me to move us closer. He concealed our lips and I held his face to deepen and prolong our kiss. I pulled away and smiled at my view as we looked at each other face to face. "I love you." he said while staring at me. I responded to him with one last kiss before grabbing the McDonalds bag to start eating. We both stuffed our faces in fries as we talked.

"What did you do today babe?" he asked me with a full mouth. I laughed. "I was in the studio with Chris like all day. Got home just a bit over an hour ago." "Long Day?" I looked at my watch realizing that it was already 12:46. "For sure." I confirmed while leaning back into my couch and letting out a yawn. "You seem so tense..." he whispered while kissing my temples and rubbing my thigh. I closed my eyes trying to release my stress but my annoying and obnoxious phone started ringing and ruined the soothing moment. I took a glance at the screen name and flipped my phone over, ignoring the call.

"Who was that?" Ashton asked. "Deshaun." I pressed my lips together. "Why is he calling you?" "Don't even know. I'm pretty sure he got himself though so don't worry."

We hung out the entire night just watching SNL and Jimmy Kimmel while I snuggled into his arms. I woke up the next day still on the couch. I looked down and noticed Ashton resting on my thigh. I smiled at the perfect sight. I carefully slid him off of me, trying not to wake him up and replaced my thigh with a pillow. I got up, washed my face and made us some breakfast. My phone started vibrating as I was making the bacon. "What?" I answered already knowing who it was. "Why the attitude Niya?" Deshaun said. "Cause this is the attitude I got from you yesterday. You still high?" I questioned with clear annoyance in my voice. "No." "Why are you calling me?" I asked while trying to focus on the food. "I wanna know why you called me yesterday." "I called to check up on you but I got a clear picture on what you're doing nowadays.." I rolled my eyes. "Niya, don't be cheesed. I just needed a distraction. You know I got a lot happening right now and besides you honestly overreacted. Yes, I know you care about me but this is me. You already know this is what I do." "That's your choice." "Can you come by today?" "Umm..." I hesitated to answer because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be around him at the time. I was honestly disappointed at the choices he's making but I guess if I go, maybe I can help him again. I have no right to be mad at him anyway, this is his life and I'm no one to tell him what to do. I haven't seen him in a while too. "Answer me please." "I'll be there at 4. Bye D." I hung up as someone held me from behind. "Goodmorning." I chimed. "Goodmorning beauty." He said as he rested his chin on my shoulders. I tilted my head to give him a kiss. He started to leave kisses on my neck and soon sucked on my soft spot. "I'm making breakfast and you're kissing me up. Would you like me to burn down this place?" He laughed and went to take a seat by the counter. "Well its been a while..." He started but I hushed him by giving him a look. "How's Deshaun been?" He asked while scrolling on his iphone. "He's been uh, he's in a rough time." "What?" "Jayde broke up and cheated on him." I revealed as I started plating the food. "What the hell? But they were so into each other." "I know. I'm worried about him. He's starting to lose it and I don't know how to help." "Don't worry babe. He's a tough guy and I'm sure he'll be fine." "But you don't understand. He loved her so much. I've never seen him have such strong feelings before."

I set the food in front of us and we started eating.

"How's working with Chris Brown going?" he emphasized on his name. "Pretty good. He's such a chill guy and he has even considered me singing a solo in the bridge." "Oh my gosh! That's amazing Niya!" "I know! I'm happy enough to be able to write for him but to actually sing in this song? I didn't see this coming." "I hope you know how proud of am of you babe." He smiled as he grabbed my waist. "I know." I kissed him. "It's about time my babygirl shines. Just know I'll be your biggest fan" I smiled at his comments and praises.
We continued to talk and catch up with each other's lives over our bacon an toast breakfast. Ashton has been almost as busy as me. He's been trying to start his new clothing line for months now. Both of our schedules are all over the place to the point where we can barely see each other and when we do get the chance to, it's normally only one night. Once we finished our breakfasts, Ashton left to go to work. Right when he left, I started to get ready to go to the studio.

Today I wore a black pullover hoodie with light washed boyfriend jeans an all black timbs. I wore close to no makeup and put my hair up into a a sleek back ponytail. I quickly rushed out the door and sped down the road when I realized that I was 10 minutes away from being late.