Your Love

What Is Trust?

Niya's POV

I quietly crept into my house thinking that Ashton would be asleep but turns out, all the lights were on and I saw Ashton sitting on the couch with his head down. It seemed like he didn't even bother getting ready to go to sleep since he was still wearing his day clothes. "Babe?" I said trying to get his attention, "Why aren't you sleeping?" I said while walking towards him. "I've been distracted." he harshly replied without looking at me. What's gotten into him? He usually greets me at the door with a welcoming hug and kiss but I guess not today. I already knew what this was going to be about so I braced myself. I already knew how jealous Ashton could get. "You saw?" I asked trying to keep a calm tone. "Well it was all over my twitter, BET, TMZ. Chris Brown seen with his new girl... what the fuck Niya?!" Ashton yelled, finally looking at me. His eyes were dark. "We're making a song together!" "Doesn't seem like it." he scoffed, "Having him hold you the way I should be isn't making a song." "He wasn't fucking 'holding' me! He was trying to fight off the paparazzis that were attacking me! Do you not give a fuck about what could've happened to me?" We were continuously arguing back and forth with eachother. It seemed as if this would go on all night. "Well do you not care about our relationship?! All this time I was worried that we weren't seeing each other that much because you were busy working and I supported you but now I see that that's what you wanted." "Why are you acting so childish?! I thought we put this shit behind us months ago! Remember?" He was silent. He sat back down on my couch and placed his head in his hands. I stood before him. "Why are you letting foolish reports and shit come in between us? You don't even know if any of this is true. It's not true. We're strictly just working together. Ashton, I love you. I wouldn't put money, fame, Chris or anything come in between us. I only want you." I tried to clarify in a more calm tone. I'm tired of yelling and arguing for something I didn't even do. Ashton sighed and got up. He walked to the kitchen counter to grab his keys. "What are you doing?" I followed him hoping that this isn't leading to where I think it is. "I'm going out." "Are you... leaving me?" he didn't answer and simply grabbed his jacket and put it on. He ignored every single attempt of eye contact I tried to make with him. "You're really letting this break our trust?! You're acting as if if I didn't walk in on you sleeping with another girl months ago!" I yelled bringing back the memory that I never wanted to be brought up again. Tears started to build a wall of their own in my eyes. "Don't fucking bring that up now!" Ashton faced me. His eyes grew darker and all I could see was anger. I looked at him more frightened than I should be. Actually, I shouldn't be afraid of my own boyfriend! He saw the look on me and he couldn't stand to face it so he turned back around and walked to the door. I stood there alone in my apartment, stunned as my tears fell freely. Are we done for good? I learned to forgive him the last time when he cheated on me with some girl but yet he can't learn to trust me? I still remember the day.. it seems to haunt me daily.

I had just gotten to his apartment that night after I had finished buying groceries to make us dinner. When I walked in, the entire apartment was dark but I spotted a light coming from under his bedroom door that was closed. I placed all the groceries on the kitchen counter and quietly crept to the door. I had been gone all day running errands and visiting my mom. I didn't plan on coming by over here tonight but I wanted to surprise him since he'd just got home from a business trip. I didn't even know if Ashton was home. To be honest, I was scared. I pressed my ear on the door to see if anyone was in there. "Yeah hold on... just relax." I heard Ashton's voice through the door. I heard a lady's moan and that's when I realized. I opened the door and stood there before my own boyfriend, on top of another girl. Both were shirtless but I couldn't see the rest since they placed the covers over them. I was thankful for that. Ashton's head immediately turned to me as my tears fell. He got up from the girl
, put on his pants and walked to me. I looked done at him and as I expected, his pants were undone. "Niya..." he reached to hold my hand. "I swear if you fucking touch me..." I said while closing my eyes trying to break this nightmare but it seemed to go on. I opened my eyes and looked at the hoe on his bed. She had wrapped the sheets around her naked body and she looked as if she were completely in shock. I looked back at Ashton."Please tell me you aren't cheating on me! Tell me you didn't just make love to someone else before with me." I cried desperately searching for a reasonable answer. Ashton just stood there before me after having sex with another woman and he couldn't say anything. I shook my head and wiped the tears off my face with the sleeve of my sweater. I turned around to walk out of his apartment but he grabbed my arm. "Niya, hear me out." "Don't touch me after touching her! You fucking cheated on me!"I pointed at the girl. "Why should I hear you out? There's nothing else to say! What do you want to tell me? That this was jus friendly hook up? Don't call me, don't talk to me, don't even act like you know me! Did the last year of being together not mean anything to you? ANYTHING?! How could you make love to someone before me Ashton?!" I screamed over my cracked voice. "Do you hear yourself?! 1 year. 1 fucking year and you won't even let me make love to you! Damn Niya. All I want to do is show you how I feel about you in ways words can't describe." I moved closer to him and looked at him. "So this is what it's about? Cause I don't give you play?! Go ahead and have sex with all these women. It doesn't matter anymore. It's nice to know that you only want a relationship where sex is the only love you can experience." I turned my head to the bitch on the bed. "Have fun sweetheart." I gave her a taunting smile before walking out.

I snapped out of my flashback when I noticed Deshaun calling me. I just threw my phone across the couch and laid there by myself wondering where our trust went.