- davina
5:22am
*in dream*
I walked out of the clinic to Jody's car. He looked at me as i opened a the door. "You good chubby?" I rolled my eyes and hugged on my stomach which was in knots. "Please just take me home Jody." I said while holding back my tears. He looked at me and slowly nodded. We drove all the way to my house. He parked the car in front of my house. I shook my head. "I'm done." He chuckled devilishly, "You done?" I shook my head. His hand went so fast across my face. "Bitch you ain't don't til i say we done." I held my face while trying to open the door, he hadn't unlocked them yet. "Jody unlock the damn doors!" I screamed. This was nun new for Jody hitting me and not letting me leave him alone. "Don't scream at me hoe." He punched my legs. "I tried kicking him away through the seats. I kicked him right in the dick. He looked at me like i had did some crazy. He chocked me and wouldn't let go. I couldn't breathe. It felt like the my whole world was going blank. I could hear my heart beat slower and slower. "Jo- Jo- Jody I- I- cant brea- breathe." I gasped out. He held onto my neck tighter. My body was going weak, all i could think was that this nigga was gonna kill me right in his car. He looked at me in my eyes, "If uu ever try to leave, You will die." He let my neck go and unlocked the doors, "Get the fuck out." I was gasping for air but i immediately opened the door. I was done. I just wasn't going to let him know that though. I left his car and ran to my front door. I unlocked it and went inside i closed the door and slid down to the floor. I cried and cried. "I will never let another man hit me..."
*Dream over*
I woke up with tears in my eyes. What i went through in chicago by my ex boyfriend hurts me deep still to this day. It happened so recently and i can't get it out of my mind. That is what i meant by relapse. I don't want to rush things with any nigga, i barely even want a nigga. And to be honest derek seems to good to be true. I don't want the nigga to act god at first and next thing i know i'm in the next room bleeding to death until someone finds me. I got out the bed and went into the the bathroom to take care of my morning hygiene.
Zaniya ❣️: You should get a job.
I looked at the phone and sighed. She was right. But i just don't do jobs. I wanted to be my own boss. I want to be everything. I feel like i could do everything. From cooking to writing to making my own clothes and cosmetics.
Me: Yeah i know but i wanna be my own boss.
Zaniya ❣️: Can't start those businesses without $$$.
I smacked my lips
Me: My mom has money and will help me.
Zaniya❣️: Chubby go get a job. Ask yo boo thang.
Me: I don't want to work for him though. He probably wouldn't even want me in his shit.
Zaniya❣️: Bitch ask him or i will.
Me: Ight g.
I sighed and went to this nigga number.
Me: I needa favor.
I waited for this nigga to respond while i went to the kitchen and got a Blueberry pop tart. I sat at the bar stool.
derek🖤: Shoot.
Me: A job..... 😅
derek🖤: gimmie 20. I'll be there and be ready.
Me: yessir.
