Pregnant at 15// Zach Herron

45

"There's no way you're still mad at me." Jordan said while walking into the kitchen.

"Think about what you did Jordan we're beyond from mad." Zach said while pouring a cup of coffee.

"This isn't fair-."

"How is this not fair you had sex with our best friend who is 34 years old and then come to find out you stopped taking the pill so you got pregnant this is fair." I said while handing her a plate.

"It's summer-."

"That must be a real bummer think before you do." Zach said while walking over to me. "I'm gonna be late love you."

"Love you." I sighed and he pecked my lips and walked out.

"Mom-."

"Are you hungry." I asked and she shook her head no. "Then room now."

"But-."

"Jordan do you not realize what you've done not only did you sleep with him but you kept proof just for a second imagine what me and your father are going through Jordan now go to your room."

"I'm sorry." She sighed and walked upstairs. It hurts like hell to do this but I mean it's something I have to do. Right?

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Alright so I know this part is really shot and I'll make up for it. But I just wanna say a couple things.

1)Thank you for picking my story.

2) this is a more serious thing. But do you ever feel like you're being cheated out of life. I have a really strict dad so that means I'm not allowed to have any social media. I'm not allowed do go with friends. I've had my good metal state where I never thought to much but now. I think all the time and I can't seem to stop.

I hate the silence but it's the only time I can be me. Myself around people is weird because I have really bad connection issues. Everyone leaves so I don't have friends it's not like I can't make any because I can but I have really bad anxiety and I can't talk to people. I get made fun of in school because I'm that one weird kid that sits in the back of the classroom and stares off into space. Nobody has been through what I've been through. I put small things into all my stories and some of it hits home and it's hard to write.

I'm 15 years old and I've lost everyone I've cared about because I've moved or I just can't find a way to talk to them anymore. I'm a rare kind of person around friends I'm that one girl that is scary but happy and funny and with family I'm happy and funny but when I'm alone in my own head space it's scary. I'm sad and depressed. I've tried to bring it up to my dad but he says you're a teenager you don't know what depression is. Exactly I'm a teenager with anxiety bad anxiety to. I have random melt downs over the smallest things.

When I was a baby around 2 me and my dad left my mom because she wasn't good. And then we lived with my grandma and my dad met a girl. They were together for 7 years and then she cheated on him making him have a bad drinking problem. And with drinking Come anger and aggression. There's been moments where I was literally scared to even go talk to my dad. We are now back living with my grandma because my dad can't get his things straight.

A while back. Two years ago I found out I was bisexual. I had a girlfriend and kept it from my dad. My dad hates gay people so imagine how I felt every time he saw a guy with his pants to low and called him a fag. And then a year later I started dating a boy of color my dads racist. My whole family is. So I ended that and told everyone I was lesbian and I dated another girl. And then I realized I was just making excuses of why I didn't have anyone. Everyone was posting up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and I had nobody. I'm 100% straight and sad. I don't know why there's things to be sad about but I don't really have a lot to be sad for. I have a family that loves me but I don't have friends because again nobody understands me. For the longest time I had a lot of friends a huge friend group I could hang out and talk to anyone. Then everyone started cutting me off one by one by one.

People say it gets better but I've had really bad depression since 4th grade when the only woman I knew as my mom cheated on my dad and left while I was at school.

Lesson learned never trust anyone.

3) that's my life sad and lonely.