STILL EDITING.
WARNING! (Adult Content)
(FICTION) (STOMICH TURNING) (18 PLUS) (SEXUAL CONTENT) DONT READ IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMICH OR YOUR UNDER 18 OR HAVE EASY TRIGGERS I DONT NEED TO BE BANNED THANKS.
ANY BULLSHIT JUDGMENT OF THE SEXUAL CONTE...
Less then a year later about maybe 10 months after my moms death it was getting close to my birthday.
My dad didn't want to celebrate this year...
Figures...
It hurt me but at this point nothing surprised me.
Mostly considering the fact my dad couldn't even look at me or be around me anymore.
*Apparently* I looked to much like my mom. He kept his self locked up in his room or out at bars never around anymore.
I haven't spoken to him for months now or even seen him much besides the odd times were he comes out and solemnly walks around to get food or go to the bathroom... He looks terrible...
He started to grow out a beard and his hair got more gray, He used to be skinny and built but now he just looks skinny and unhealthy. His eyes also developed dark circles and started to sink in to his skull. He always looked tired like he hasn't slept in months.
I tried to avoid him at all costs I dont want to get in his way he didn't seem like the dad I once knew. you know that uneasy gut feeling you get? like you want to just scabble into a corner and disappear. Yea that's how he made me feel now.
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Raymond
Brooklyns's dad
40
* I was so right he was close enough to be the devil himself.*
I missed him, alot but I was to nervous to talk to him, I didn't want him getting upset.
I ended up just going about my days from dealing with school, -the place were I get laughed at, my books waked out of my hands all over the floor, shoved into lockers, tripped and sometimes beaten up. This was almost on a constant day to day basis...School was just another part of hell for me... I had no friends, no one to talk to. I was so alone... Nobody liked me and I never knew why? Maybe I'm just to much of a freak to them. The motherless almost orphan.-
Going home didn't make things feel any better either...
I felt trapped like I couldn't escape this harsh reality.
I try not to think of anything at all just trying to vanish out all my thoughts of everything around me but this was damn right impossible, my life was filled with all this torturous stuff now.
Everyday I would come home and look myself in the mirror... Honestly I was filled with disgust. I seen the same thing all the time, all the flaws. My tummy was hanging out, my face was chubby, there was a double chin with no complexion, my hair was dirty blond, medium length and straight, very dull. I used to have bright vibrant blue eyes but now they just looked so sad, distraught and tired... I can see the hurt and pain just looking back at me and haunting me, I wonder if other people can see the same? I would assume so.
