Save Me, Stranger | A Dialogue Story

[32] - The Letter: A Damsel In Distress

Hello Stranger...

No, Alex thinks, shaking her head and erasing the two lightly written words. That sounds weird.

Hey Stranger, it's Alex.

That's better, she smiles through the tears.

There's a lot of things I want to say...but it would go on for hundreds of pages.

Let me just start off with saying thank you.

Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you the most. You're the only person in this world that really seems to give a damn about how I'm doing. Picking up the phone when I call and not hanging up means much more to me than you realize.

I also finally went to see Declan's parents. I thought they were going to blame me or slam the door in my face as soon as they saw I was there. But that's not what happened. They were so sweet and understanding about the whole situation...I didn't deserve it. No matter how nice they were or anyone is to me, I haven't done anything to deserve it. I haven't deserved yours...

You Stranger, are the sweetest, most kind and funny person I ever "met". You are very strong willed and always find a way. The people that are in your life right now are there to stay, but I don't know if I can say the same for myself.

I started to get better, like when those dark grey rain clouds begin to part and bright rays of light shine through. I sent in my application to Morning Star News Headquarters about a week ago and have been taking many pictures since then. I remember one of the last times we talked you were wanting to see them so I've included a couple with this letter.

Anyways, no matter how hard I seem to try, the world always finds a way to shit on me. I can't even count the number of egg cartons that use to end up on my car by the end of each week or the amount of times I'd have to scrub off 'murderer' from my windows. So many things play in to why I feel the way I do but most of it is my fault.

You're probably thinking, "This happened because of me," or, "It was my fault I couldn't save her," but I want you to know none of this is your fault at all. I take one hundred percent responsibility. After all, I let everyone's looks and comments get to me. I was the one that broke down time after time while using fifty dollars in cleaning supplies just trying to scrape off dried egg yolks and red marker from a shitty blue Prius. That's also something I forgot to mention. In an attempt to fix my problems, I got a car! That was before I moved though.

Now, no one notices me. I thought it would help my anxiety towards people. I thought getting an apartment in a different town would make life better. I thought getting a job at some high end place, continuing to pursue photography, and talking to one of the most amazing guys I've ever "met" would help in getting rid of my depression.

Depression is a funny thing though. No matter how hard someone tries to get rid of it, even if they seem to get better, there's always a piece of them that holds onto those dark days in the back of their mind. Some are better at keeping that part of them suppressed, others not so much. Me, it's like a constant cloud of darkness weighing down my shoulders. I try to smile and be happy and do things that normal people do to feel better about themselves, but nothing works.

I don't know when or if this letter will ever get to you but I want you to know some things.

YOU have made such a huge impact on my life. You were like an angel descending down from the heavens, allowing me to see light, to have hope. You helped me through really rough situations and never complained when I called to rant, which was almost all of the times that I called (not trying to inflate your ego or anything but it's true).

You are such a blessing in everyone's lives. I never want you to forget that. No matter how much grief your friends put you through or how much of a pain they are, they love you (they won't admit that cause they'll say it "sounds gay" but deep down inside they're grateful).

Please, for me, don't you ever give up on life. Strive to be better than you were the day before and always look for the light when all there seems to be is darkness.

You're my hero.

But sometimes,

in the end,

the damsel in distress isn't meant to be saved.