Demons and darkness (Sunstreaker)

Chapter 10. Back to base

Sunstreaker screamed and threw the vase against the wall. In his fury he had cut his hand. 'Sunstreaker–' I tried to calm him down but it had no use. I didn't know why he had this sudden eruption, maybe because he didn't take his medicines or perhaps because something had upset him but this was bad. He panted and stared at the wall, his chest rising and falling quickly. He let himself fall on his knees and buried his face in his hands. 'Hey...' I touched his shoulder, but he didn't respond. 'I will never see him again... Sideswipe... I will never be able to find him,' he cried. 'No, we can find him... we will find him. He's in New York,' I said, trying to motivate him. 'We will find him,' I stated. 'No I won't!' he shouted, glaring at me. His eyes were red and shinning dangerously. 'But you need to keep having hope, Sunstreaker.' He snorted. 'Hope doesn't excist,' he scowled. I sighed and anxiously watched him. I wasn't afraid of him, but I was afraid what he would do to himself.

I got up as he did too and watched him pace around. He stopped and sat down in the windowsill, looking outside. 'I still have hope to see my brother,' I said. He snorted, 'he died in front of you,' he sneered. 'I still hope it was just a bad dream.' He turned his head. 'It's the only thing that keeps me going... to believe he's still alive and healthy. I don't want anything bad to happen to you... I don't want you to have the same fate,' I said. I sat down in front of him. He snorted again and looked outside. 'I need Sideswipe...' he muttered. 'And we will find him. I promise.' He sighed softly and got up, laying down on the bed, hugging the pillow. 'I don't want to live without him...' he added quietly.

I sighed softly and watched him for some time. Things started to get worse from here. Not only his mental health but also the fact Ironhide had found him. As soon as we got back to base, he was taken away and I had to face a pissed off Matt. 'Don't you care about other people?' I snapped. He snorted and gave me a look, 'I care about you... that mech is messing with your mind! Your brother is dead! Wake up!' he shouted. Without thinking, I slapped his face. Startled, he did a step back. 'Leave me alone, Matt. As long as you don't understand someone else's pain... I don't want to talk or see you,' I shouted before I turned around and stormed off.

I broke down in my room, crying my eyes out. After ten minutes, I looked up, staring at the Sunflowers. They were still standing in the vase in the bureau. I wiped some tears off my face and took one out, sitting down on the bed and stared at the flower in my hand. I sighed softly and touched the yellow petals. One fell off and landed on my lap. I was caught off guard when I heard a knock. I didn't expect anyone.

As I opened the door, I faced Ratchet. 'You are the last person I want to see,' I snapped and was about to shut the door but he stopped me and stepped inside. 'What do you want?' I snapped. 'Optimus sent me... he wanted to know if he hurt you,' he said. I glared daggers at him and turned around, placing the flower back in the face. 'Piss off, Ratchet...' I snapped. 'So I can assume he hasn't hurt you?' he asked. 'Of course he didn't,' I spat. 'Where is Sunny?' I snapped. 'Not for you to concern about,' he said. 'I will care about Sunny as long as I live... you can't change anything about that and he cares about me too,' I said, pointing at the flowers. 'Oh, so just because he bought you some flowers, you believe he cares?' he asked.

'What kind of medic are you!? Sunstreaker doesn't deserve to go through all this. Getting his body pumped full of medicines. You made him like this, not me! I am only trying to help him and be his friend,' I snapped. 'He can't be helped... he's a lost case already,' he snapped. 'He's not!' I screamed. 'You know what a lost case is? My brother... he jumped for a train. I saw it... he saw no other option. Do you want Sunstreaker to kill himself too? Is that what you want?' I snapped. 'Oh, shut up... you don't know him like we do. He's dangerous,' he scowled and turned around. 'You are a doctor... you can't call anyone a lost case. No matter what.' Ratchet halted and turned around again. 'We don't want any more casualties... He has done enough and believe me... that mech doesn't deserve any sympathy from anyone.'

I glared at him while Ratchet turned around and walked off, slamming the door shut behind him. I looked back at the yellow flowers for a moment and remembred what he said while handing them to me. 'I hope the flowers cheer you up just like they always cheer me up.' He wouldn't give me the flowers if he didn't care about me. Sunstreaker does care, I am sure of that. I collected some clothing and took a shower. I needed it to clear my mind a little and overthink what had happened the last few days. Sunny was full of hope to see his brother again. He was so close and it was all taken from him again. Maybe he only change to see his brother. I wish I could make things right and somehow felt responsible for what had happened. He can be so affectionate, he loves cuddles and someone to talk to. After my shower, I laid down on my bed for some time and eventually fell asleep.