The Poetry Of a Young Teenager

"Me, Myself, And I"

I try, I really do. My brain plays tricks on me and my heart aches. Since I was a little girl I knew I was attracted to both , girls and boys, but never really payed much attention to it. Seeing my childhood fade into dust even before it even started was heartbreaking. I've always been mature and understanding of my surroundings.
I've been able to understand how life works and how this world runs. I've always been sad. For As long as I can remember everything has always been black and white. Never been able to find a way to forget about the past.
I've always been hardheaded, my Mother always told me to listen to other people's advice but I never listen. I never do what I'm told. I've made my own mistakes and I've traced my own journey and fought my own battles, why should I listen to someone who has never seen what I've seen? How can I listen to someone that has never been in my situation?
When I was little I used to cut my hair little by little, to change my appearance. It's not that I hated how I looked I just hated who I was, and Where I was.
I've always been an awesome lier. Lies were like my way to survive. I used to lie about who my Parents were and who I was and where I lived, just so that my friends didn't know anything about me. I was an unhappy little 6 years old ten years ago.
I'm only 16 years old and I've lived more than half the people I know.

No one really knows me, not even my own mother.
No one knows what I'm capable of.
Why I did , the things I did , or why I said the things I said .
Why I hate everyone around me.
Why I'm so confused.
Why I wish that I never would have moved away from home.
Why Puerto Rico is the only place I can be myself without being judged, yet I'm afraid of going to the hell my Mother and Stepfather always talk about.
Heaven.
Hell.
Angels.
Demons.
What's the point of going to a place where they say they accept who you are yet they don't accept what you are? I just hide behind the shadows, where no one can ever hurt me other than,
Me,
Myself,
And I.
I'm the monster they talk about.
The one who they write and have nightmares about.
I'm just starting to grow stronger, yet they tear me down like there's no tomorrow.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, ha!
Humans leave everything for the next day, we tend to plan and plan, destroy and bring more destructive things to our world, but we don't care what we do.
Even family kills you. Little by little they pluck your wings out, until they rip your heart out with no mercy.
The shadows in me, filled up my life and made me stronger than them. Heartless or not, I've always been fearless. Fought to death in life and in my fairytales, trying to build up an escape from reality.
At such a young age, I already knew that the world was rotten to its core and that happiness was only in the books I read.
Always wanted to believe that life was a good thing and that everyone had their happy endings.
Just like Rumpelstiltskin running around making deals, living life in the dark. A weird eternal being who cares less about her feelings and cares even less about others.
Foggy and cold it's my heart and my soul is way too old for a young girl. Creativity comes in like a storm and her words roam around her brain like vultures ready for dinner.
I let them go out to play once in a while. Yet my words can't be trusted. My mind is such a scary place to be in that I wouldn't trust a word I say.
My life is just the beginning, the beginning of my end.
I'm the Queen of darkness, well, that's what they all say.
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