Growing Feelings 2 (Bertholdt x Reader) College AU

This is our first date! (part 1)

Bertholdt's pv

If anyone asked what happiness feels like, I would say this is it.

I was looking at the mirror once more, checking if everything was in place. Did I choose these clothes right? Will she think they look good or will she think it's tacky...

- You look fine! - Reiner said, beside me - I mean, maybe try to sweat a little less...

I watched as my expression became even more panicking in the mirror.

- I'm just kidding man! Relax... - he put his hand on my right shoulder - You've met (y/n) for so long now. She's not going to see you for the first time, she's been arround you countless times already!

- I-I know that! - I noticed my voice was shaky - but this time it's different! It's our first date... I want everything to be perfect.

- Maybe it will be if you relax a little - he placed his other hand on my left shoulder - here, I'll help you - he said has he began to shake me back and forth.

- W-what are you doing!!

- Helping you relax! - he laughed.

I managed to let go of his grasp and looked in the mirror. Everything was a mess! I tried to fix my clothes and hair.

- Anyway, isn't it about time you get going? A man shouldn't make a lady wait.

I checked the time and was horrified when I realized It was getting late. I stormed out of the room and left as fast as possible.

- Have fun! - I heard Reiner shout has I reached the door.

______________________

I was nervously walking arround while waiting for (y/n) at the building's door when I realized I had forgotten the flowers that I bought for her at my place. How could I forget it?? I'm such a lousy boyfriend!

Boyfriend...

This word still felt weird to think about. To think (y/n) would actually want to be with someone like me... 

I heard the sound of the door opening and watched as she came out.

- Hi! You look nice - she said with a smile.

- Y-you look nice too - I said in a robotic tone - I mean... you look amazing! Yeah. Stunning!

- Bertholdt... you don't need to force the compliments. - she looked at me, pensative.

I looked away. I wasn't forcing it! She did look pretty... but I rehearsed this so many times in my head that it came out sounding fake...

 I just keep messing up.

________

We arrived at the themed park and I went to buy the tickets. Even though it was early, the place was already crowded. 

After choosing wich ride to try first, we waited what felt like an eternity in line. This wasn't very romantic... not much like what I had in mind. Maybe coming here wasn't the right decision...

- Are you alright? - she asked - You look a bit down today...

- N-no it's nothing! I'm happy to be here.

Once more my voice didn't sound very convincing. 

- I hope so...

She reached out for my hand and grabbed it firmly. I felt my whole body relaxing with her touch. Her hand was so soft... 

- Next! - I slightly jumped when I heard the manly voice calling us. We entered the roller coaster and got on our seats. I looked at (y/n)'s face and she had a mix of excitement and regret. I smiled and holded her hand tightly.

________

- That was fun! - she stated with an open smile. - What do you want to do next?

We had tried a few of the rides by now and the place just seemed to have more and more people. By now I wanted to find a place for us to be alone for a bit...

- Do you want some ice cream? We could get some and then go sit over there - I pointed to a bench in a park farther away, under a tree, wich didn't have anyone arround.

After getting the ice cream and sitting there, we stayed in silence for a bit till we were finished eating. Now that I think about it, she was more quiet than usual. Even though she talked like normal... something was different. I wondered what was on her mind.

- So... what are you thinking right now?

I was surprised by the question and didn't know what to say. I figured it would be best to tell the truth.

- I was thinking that... we didn't talk much today... not like usual... 

- That's because there's something bothering you - she said while looking at the sky - I can see that, but... the reason... it's harder.

- There's nothing bothering me...

She sighed.

- I understand that you tend to keep things to yourself... it's part of you and I can't ask you to be more honest if you don't feel confortable with it - 

- That's not...

- But I need to know at least one thing...

She paused and I was starting to feel anxious. What does she mean by all this, what does she wants to say? 

- Do you regret it?

She finally looked me in the eyes and I was more confused than ever.

- Regret what.?

- Asking me out..? Were we better as friends?

I was speechless. How... how could I regret such a thing??

- No!! Of course I don't! - I grabbed her hands and turned to face her - Why would you think that...

I looked back at my atitude during the day and realized. 

- Look it's just... I'm such an idiot. - I looked away. I wanted this day to be perfect but I kept messing up! I was just upset with myself...

- But you did nothing wrong -

- I did! First I showed up late, then I forgot your flowers... I should had choosen a different place for our first date... I made you sad instead of happy... I couldn't even tell you how pretty you are-

- AND you haven't even kissed me once.

I looked at her in shock. I leaned towards her only to feel her hand in my face stopping me.

- Don't do it now just because I told you, dummy.

- Aaaaah - I pulled back and covered my face with my hands.

She chuckled. - So basically you've been acting weird because you put some kind of pressure that this day had to be the best ever and because of that you ended up making worse?

I took my hands from the face and looked back at her, weeping.

- I'm the wors- before finishing the sentence she placed her arms arround me and hugged me.

- Bertholdt... you don't need to force yourself to be or do any different... just because we're dating now. I already know... and love you... for who you are. So you can relax... I want to have fun with you, the same way we had before. Without pressure or expectations... ok?

I placed my head on her shoulder.

- Sorry...

She turned her face and kissed me in the cheek.

- We're cool now, right? Shall we go and truly enjoy our date?

I nodded and got up alongside her. I holded her hand as we walked arround.

Why was I getting so worked up before. I waited so long to have her by my side. 

I should be happy.

I looked at her and saw her smile as she pointed to a cute plush in on of the stands.

I smiled back at her.

I was happy.