Saving me

Chapter 10

Another sleepless night comes and goes. Alice doesn't sleep well at night. Josh isn't here. He's in Florida filming. "Shhh, calm down baby girl. It's okay, it's okay. Mommy's here," I whisper to her as I rock her back and forth. She continues to wail as I rock her. "Why won't you sleep?" I ask as I start to sob. My phone rings and I answer it. "Hello?"

"Heather Grace you okay?" It's Melanie.

"Alice won't sleep," I sob. "She hasn't for the past month. She only slept the first month she was home," I explain.

"Okay I'll be right over. Ill be there in ten minutes."

"Okay," I sob and hang up the phone.

Ten minutes later Melanie comes in and follows Alice's screams and cries to her room. "Let me see her," she says. I hand her to Melanie and she tries to get her quiet. "Has she been eating?"

"Yeah, what you told me to feed her and when I'm supposed to," I explain as tears stream down my face.

"Calm down, everything will be alright," she tells me. I just nod. "I think she has a touch of colic though. Do you have any of the drops?" I shake my head no. "I've got some," she says and opens up her bag. She drops some into Alice's mouth.

Soon Alice is quiet and sleeping. Melanie sets her in her crib and we walk into the living room. "I'm not cut out for this. I'm too young and I can't care for her," I start to sob again.

"Heather Grace, you're her mother for a reason. You love her and she loves you. Josh loves her. You can do this. You take care of her. Make money to feed and clothe her. Everything is okay," she explains and hugs me.

"Thanks," I say.

She nods, "when is Josh coming home?"

"Not sure, probably month after next," I tell her.

"Oh, well until then I'll leave those drops for Alice. Give them to her when she needs them. It'll ease her stomach and help her sleep."

"Thank you," I say.

"No problem," she smiles and hugs me again. Then she leaves and I go to bed.

I wake up the next morning and walk into Alice's room. I'm shocked when I see her awake in Josh's arms as he rocks her back and forth. "Josh when did you get home?"

"Doesn't matter, you should learn to listen to when she cries. Screaming her head off until I picked her up," he says sternly. Then he starts to morph into Carter.

I start to scream and tell him to put her down. Then they vanish and I'm in a dark room by myself. "Alice! Carter! Carter please give her back!" I yell. I run and hit a wall and fall. "Please!" I yell again.

I scream until someone starts shaking me. "Heather wake up," I hear. I scream and jump awake.

"Alice," I say and get up and run to her room. I don't bother to see who woke me. I open her door and see she's sleeping peacefully. I walk over to her and kiss her forehead gently. "Mommy loves you," I whisper.

"Heather Grace," I hear. I look and see Josh standing in the doorway. I run to him and hug him. "Are you okay?" He asks me.

"Oh Josh," I say. "Nightmares and Alice not sleeping. I'm running on nothing."

"Come on, let's go to bed," he says. He carries me to my room and lays me on my bed. He knows not to hold me but tonight I want him to.

"Josh, hold me please," I tell him.

"You sure?" He asks me. I nod. He wraps his arms around me and I don't flinch or stiffen. Josh rubs my back and I start to cry. "Talk to me," he says.

"Alice hasn't slept for a month and I have nightmares of Carter taking her from me. I haven't slept much either. Melanie comes over most of the time to help me. I can't do this," I cry.

"Yes you can, it's just hard right now," he whispers. "I'm home now. It's okay," he says. I just nod. And soon we both fall asleep.