fuck buddies; nick mara

four

Nick's pov

"we should watch The Vow." my girlfriend, Naila says to me and I roll my eyes.

We are currently in my room, trying to figure out what movie to watch.

"You've done that with the last ten movies i have suggested." she frowns, her sad green eyes on display. I can tell she feels the thick tension in the air.

"well maybe that's because I didn't want to watch a movie in the first fucking place." I snap at her and she just hangs her head low, sighing. I don't like being mean to her, and I can feel her heart breaking, but I just can't seem to stop being so harsh to her today, actually I've been quite rude to her the whole week.

I want to hug her and apologize for being so mean to her, I wanna be her only source of happiness if everything else fails, but I can't bring myself to do it.

"Nick, I know you wanted to have sex, but that's all we've been doing lately. You're going out of town for the weekend. I want to actually talk to you before you leave."

"I'm only leaving for the fucking weekend! Jesus fucking christ Naila, why do you always need to be around me?" I spat and she looks up at me, shocked and hurt. I know she's been doing everything she can to make me happy, but nothing seems to work.

"nick what is wrong with you?" she says calmly and i just ignore her.

"are you not going to answer?" she asks me, her voice breaking right along with my heart.

"I thought it was a rhetorical question. I was waiting for you to keep whining about our relationship."

I can't control what I'm saying to her, and I don't know why I've been so mean. I love her, and in our 2 and a half years of dating I've never been this annoyed with her; and all she was trying to do was make me happy.

She stands up , getting off of the bed and goes to look in the mirror. her tears are aching to fall but she wouldn't dare let them.

"Is it me?" she genuinely asks, judging herself in the big mirror. "have I been getting fat? Have you met someone better?"

Watching her question herself is only making me feel worse, but I knew I'd win this argument. I win every single one that we have, because she refuses to bite back.

"No, oh my fucking gosh." I yell at her angrily.

"well then what is it, nick. I don't know how to please you. I feel like you are only with me for sex. what are we missing that we had up until a couple of weeks ago?" she questions, making eye contact with me through the mirror. I want to give her a big hug and tell her that it's all okay, and that I've just been stressed. I want to communicate my feelings with her, but all I've been doing is fucking my feelings away.

"have a fucking backbone for once! you don't do shit but sit around and question what you did!"

she turns around from the mirror and faces me. "what do you want me to do?" she looks so lost.

"fucking yell at me!"

I scream at her and she furrows her perfectly arched eyebrows at me. She's so gorgeous. I can feel myself slowly chipping away at her heart and self esteem, why am I so fucked up?

"what?" she questions, barely audible.

"sorry, I couldn't hear you. speak up." I say sarcastically, and she repeats herself louder.

"sorry, what? couldn't hear you." I say again, making her turn bright red. She repeats herself again.

"I. said. what." she says through gritted teeth. I can see her getting angry, which I almost never see. It was either happy as shit or really fucking sad with her. She was never ever angry. I asked her why one day, and she told me it wasn't worth it. She told me that she only gets angry over people she'd die for.