fuck buddies; nick mara

twenty three

Jade wakes up, yet again feeling terrible about what happened with nick. It's not in her character to do something like that. no matter how much she wanted nick understand the pain she felt when he said his hurtful words to her, he didn't deserve to be cheated on. especially with one of the only girls he's truly loved. 

having the two people he cares most about hurt him like that was truly the worst thing he's ever had to go through. 

despite these facts, he still couldn't deny his love for jade. he woke up this morning admiring the beautiful glow on her face. she had dry mascara running down her face and her hair was a mess, but her heart was gold.

he lit up when he woke up to see her peacefully sleeping, only to be dimmed down when he remembered the night before. 

the sleepy girl turns to him. "hi." she says shyly. she doesn't know where his head is at. and that scares her. 

he gives a pain-filled smile to her. "hi." he says back. he was hurt. no doubt. but he wanted to make things work. he wanted to jump back into where they were before, and he thought he was ready for it. he wasn't, but he wasn't aware of that.

she hugs him and he tenses up, but eventually melts in her hold. 

"nick, i'm so sorry. this is exactly why i don't get drunk. i cannot take back what i did. but i don't want to live without you. please don't leave me."

not to justify what jade did, but it was fueled by nick's fuck up. and he knew that. he also knew that he tried for days to apologize and was still done wrong.

he sighed, and looked her right in the eyes.

"we need time. we're gonna make this work, okay?" she nods eagerly. she was excited to hear that nick wanted to stay with her. she learned her lesson, and he most definitely learned his.

both of them knew that. it wouldn't fix all the damage, though.

"do you wanna hang out today?" jade asks, really hoping for the answer 'yes'. she didn't want to be away from him any longer. he nods his head and she leaves to get dressed.

when everything's taken care of, she gets in the car, leaning over to kiss him.

he missed her lips, but of course he could only think about how naila's were there only a few hours earlier. he pulled away abruptly, realizing that he wasn't quite as ready as he believed he was. 

she frowns. "what's wrong?" he shakes his head, fumbling to get his words out.

"i-i don't- i'm so sorry." he says and brings his sweaty hands up to pull the keys out of the ignition. 

jade couldn't be mad. she knew that she was the person that was supposed to be apologizing. they both stepped out of the car and he waves goodbye to her.

***

jade sat in the living room, dodging the different things being thrown at her by alexis. she had picked yet another fight with jade, and she only wanted it to end. 

she was really missing home more and more, nick being the sole purpose of her hanging onto her life in california. 

who would want to stay in a house where they are blamed for everything and are practically raising a kid when they can go back home to their loving family. 

 "everything is your fault." alexis screams, throwing a deodorant bottle at jade. 

she would usually go to the boys' house. it was like her safe haven, but she wanted to give nick his personal space. 

she figured that taking kayley with her to go hang out with her was the best thing to do to get her away from alexis.

it was truly sad to see alexis like this. she was a very young girl, who's biggest problem should be what kind of furniture she should get for her dorm. instead, she was raising a child, had no family left, and was under complete stress. she had to give what are supposed to be the most fun years of her life up. 

what else was she supposed to do? she was aware that she was being bitch. she was actually aware that jade did nothing worth blaming her for, but she wasn't able to stop herself from slowly deteriorating the relationships in her life.

jade picked up her phone to text izzy about having a girls day, when she saw a text message from nick reading. "we goin on tour babyyyy!!!!" it was to group chat that she was in.

he decided to text that to everyone after a meeting with management. he hadn't told the public yet, but he was super excited.

jade felt a pang in her chest. she didn't want to be without him for however long tour was. she didn't know if she physically could.

she was happy for him, of course. she was so excited to watch the love of her life be successful in what he does best. 

she was excited to see him travel the country with his best friends.

she was excited for all of the supporters who were going to get to finally hug him, and tell him how much he means to them.

she thought she should congratulate him, so she headed to the store and picked up a new necklace for him and headed over to the house.

when she knocked on the door, it was quickly opened by nick, who pulled her into a hug immediately. 

"i know you're mad at me and i'm sorry but i had to come say congratulations."

he shook his head. "i'm not mad at you, j. but i do need you to know that i can't go through this again. please don't hurt me again." he pleads and she nods. he's chipping away at her heart with his sad words.

"never." she mumbles. 

she . pulls back, handing him the small box with his new necklace and he raises his eyebrows. "for me?"

"yes baby."

"awwee, j. i love you." he says for the first time in a while, though he could say it every second of the day.

the two go into the living room and lay down, cuddling on one couch, while the boys, maggie, ansley, and izzy sat elsewhere. watching a movie or just talking. 

nick could see jade wasn't as talkative as normal.

"what's wrong?" he whispers to her and she shrugs.

"i don't know. i just wish i was doing something."

"what do you mean?" he furrows his eyebrows and she shrugs again.

"like... you're going on tour. i should be in college or something. i don't want people to think i'm leeching off of you."

he brings his thumb up to lift up her chin so she's looking into his eyes. 

"jade. you are the most independent person i know. "leech" my ass." he says and the girl giggles, leaning up to kiss him and earning fake gags from everyone, excluding brandon, who was saying "awww".