Red love

Janes POV written in journal:

I was not one to break easily. I was not one to lose a battle. But this battle was just not meant to be won. I had fought so hard, fought for a better day, but I can’t take it any longer. Ever since the whole Red John ordeal everyone has grown distant from me, unable to truly trust me again, and I completely understood – I killed a man, but I never thought it would hurt as much as it has. I have lost my 3 best friends and a boss who I truly love, who was so supportive of me through every choice I made, well mostly she didn’t agree with the things I did but she was still supportive, she is the love of my life who I could always count on to help me, my soul mate. After our argument she had told me to move on, but she could never stop loving me because no matter what she loved me through thick and thin, but the fact I had killed a man was just too much to bare, the truth is I could never stop loving her either. And everyday, every minute, every second I think about her, it kills me a little more inside.

I had fought in this never-ending battle since my wife and child were murdered and just wished it all would end. I had had enough of it and would rather be anywhere else than where I am now. But I am torn. Would it all blow over or would it carry on for the rest of my life?

Her words drift around my head. Every time she told me she loved me. Every time she had expressed how much she loved me. It’s just one thing I can’t forget and I wish that she would understand, I can never forget.