*Paula POV*
"Wow! I can't believe I'm nervous! It's been years, he's with someone else! They have a child!!! Come on Paula pull it together," I scolded myself on my way to the theatre. "Ughh, just remember how much he annoys you. And how he would make you look and feel stupid," I've recited this same pep talk to myself many times as the thought him would creep into my mind. "Why can't I get over him? Why do I care about him so much. He left me! He went and had a child with someone younger who can have children," I pinched the bridge of my nose and close my eyes not letting the tears fall. If I had to see him I was going to look my best! Let him see what he's missing, that I'm doing great all in my own! I don't need him.
I turn on the radio, trying to drown out my thoughts, as Credit by Meghan Trainor came on the radio and I sang song forgetting my predicament. As I really listen to the lyrics he appears back in my mind! Seriously! This song makes me think of him, are you serious?
I change the station, and hear them playing Coldhearted Snake, I smile at my song in the radio, till I realize that song reminds me of him as well! My own freaking song! It's not even about him!!! Not that anyone knows who it's about!
Stopped at a red light, I decide to listen to music on my phone. At least I change the song on my phone, I thought! I open up my music and press shuffle, the first song is by Queen, Love My Life. Nope, next! Then, Stay by Rihanna! Oh my... not right now! Finally, I press shuffle again and Single Ladies by Beyoncé plays, it may remind me of him but this song kind says screw you! You had your chance and you ain't ever coming back.
When I finally get to the studio I've pressed skip on most of my music. Why do I listen to so many love songs and breakup songs, that's kind of depressing! Anyway, where am I supposed to be going anyway, "Paula," Ryan smiles making his way to me.
"Hey, Ry! It's been a while," I smile hugging him.
"Can you believe this is Idol's final finale," Ryan shakes his head at the thought.
"You know what I can't believe," I look at him, "that after all these years. Brian left, I left, Simon left and Randy left, yet here you are. The last season of idol and you stayed through the whole thing," I laugh.
"Well, what can I say? I'm loyal, to the very end. If you'd given me a chance you would know that," Ryan whispers in my ear.
"Ooo, what's going on here," Jennifer says walking over to us.
"Oh nothing! How are you," I hug her and smile.
"I'm great! Can't believe this the end, it's just so sad," Jennifer frowns.
"Hey, Paula! Jenn! Ryan, my man," Randy says walking up holding arms out for a hug.
"Hey, Randy," I smile at him accepting the hug.
"Do you know if Cowell is gonna be here," he ask me, and everyone turn there attention to me.
I blush as my eyes widen, "nope! I don't, kinda hoping he won't show," I smiling tightly.
"Ooo, girl you got it bad," Jennifer laughs, putting an arm around me, making me blush deeper.
"Awe, P. That bad," Randy ask, tilting his head in a sympathetic manner?
"I'm fine," I scowl at them. "I just haven't talked to him since he called me three years ago to tell me that he royally F'd up! Then how he proceeded to tell me how sorry he was and that he wasn't sure what to do," I roll my eyes.
"Well, I'll see you all in a bit. Gotta go finish getting ready and this conversation doesn't really involve me," Jennifer smiles then walks away quickly.
