Idk how I feel, like I really dont know. I love her and yes she makes me happy but I still dont want to hurt her because I dont know how I feel...but I cant just pretend to be okay with the distance and the lack of...everything. I need someone to be here. Im scared once school starts again that we wont have time to talk everyday...or that she will meet someone new...or maybe I'm scared I'll meet someone new. Yeah thats it. Thats what I'm scared of. I'm scared of failing again at trying to make someone happy. I never can. I put on this act and I pretend everything is just fine. I put aside everything I have to say so I dont hurt people, and it's killing me inside. I used to think that I could grow with someone and find myself, but now I'm really doubting that..expecially when that someone is so far away. Faking everything is making me just become a walking nothing. I dont know who I am anymore, idk how to feel or how to do normal things. I just cant function and I'm on the edge of just giving up on everything.
