Something lived, Something felt

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 38

Zinar cracked her brain thinking of what to get her husband as a birthday gift, for his past two birthdays and their anniversary she had gotten him a Nintendo switch console, personalized tiny basketballs with phrases like I love you, you spark my fire...which he had boastfully displayed in his office, an oak barrel vintage lens sunglasses and a wrist watch. She shuffled through all her thoughts but nothing came up that she liked. His gifts game was on fleek compared to hers. Though he loved and appreciated what she gave him, she still wanted to up her game. But she was out of ideas, she sighed audibly, she decided to get back to the reports on her desk and maybe something might come up eventually.

Amna sat on her window seat staring outside, it was empty, the trees covered in snow, the sun hiding behind the clouds, the weather cold. That was how she felt cold and empty, numbed by the pain she was submerged in, her body arched, her eyes were weary, her mind clouded and blank at the same time. She had been cooked up in her room for two days, Nafisa moved in the day after the incident telling mamma that she was helping her with a very important project that needed lots of focus to avoid any mother instincts.

Most times her minded toured back to the night of the incident, she would shut her eyes trying to bury the pain, erase the images, the memories but it was like they were on a mission to taunt her, chasing her to a dark and lonely abyss. Other times she was just numb, letting everything surge in without so much as a fight, moments when she felt cold and she was catatonic.

"Ibnity" she raised her head to see her father waving his hands in her face with a worried looked. She looked at him blankly.

"No hug?" he asked "What's wrong?"

"Am fine I just want to be alone" she turned her gaze outside. He sat by her side looking closely, she looked washed out, her hair was rough and her skin ashy, it was as though her life was drained out of her. "Still having trouble with the job?" he asked knowing well that her job hunt hasn't been going well. He hoped when she was done hunting she would be opened to the family business but Ahmad and Khalid had tainted all the children into building something for themselves. "You always have your job" he patted her leg.

"Abu please go" she whispered and quickly wiped the tear that ran through her cheek but he had already seen it.

"Amna look at me, look at me" he stared at her, she stood up furiously "Kallini bas" she yelled leaving him shocked. But he knew his daughter; she had never pulled off anything like that. "I just want to be left alone" she cried and he pulled into a hug. She sobbed even harder in his embrace breaking his fragile father heart. "What if he comes back? What if he comes back?" she repeated frail. And he was already imagining what he would do to the guy that broke his daughters heart. They stood in the embrace for minutes until she drew back, he sat her back on the window seat and she narrated everything to him.

"Am sorry Abu" she said her voice hoarse and shaking. She hated herself for being weak, for almost giving in. Remembering that for a moment she almost gave herself up made her feel disgusted, she felt pathetic and wondered if she was worth living.

Her father pulled her into another embrace, "Shh! Its not your fault, its not your fault" he reassured her. His blood boiled from the narrative, his daughter had been harassed and abused, Jay had mess with the wrong girl. He held her in his arms making her feel safe until she fell asleep.

Over a few days there had been an intense search for Jay, he was found two days after Amna told her story. He was found lying low in the small apartment half an hour away from town and had been arrested immediately. With further investigation he was found with misconduct in a high school he had thought. Asiya had disagreed to any public affirmation; she said she would not let her daughter be humiliated after everything that she had gone through, she didn't want her daughter broadcasted. If she had her ways Amna wouldn't go for the hearing. She didn't see why her daughter had to testify while she was the victim, but things were hard on everybody.