asaki ↠ nct female member

➺stupid fight

So, mark and hyuck wont talk to me and i wont talk to them. i think i made things awkward, plus im pretty sure they have their own little fight going own, i dont even bother in trying to talk to them honestly, not because im petty or anything, but because im embarrased i actually said what i was feeling out loud.

i feel like ever since i debuted i just had to swallow my feelings in order for my performances to be good, so i could concentrate on making music and on practice, i always felt that if i ever brought it up, it would just take time out of our practice

plus i really dont like talking about myself or my feelings

i never had to, i never had anyone to talk to, i never had a reason to

but now that i do have people around me, people that care for me and actually like me, my insecurities are just louder than everything, it doesnt matter how many times they show their affection towards me, or how many times they say they love me, in my head, they are just saying it because im their teammate, and they have to like me or because they pitty me in some way.

i feel bad for the rest of the members, i feel like they are caught up in their mess, well... our mess.

sigh

well at least i could work on my music now

dreamies dorm

"could you guys come here for a second" i yelled to the rest of the dreamies

i was laying down on the floor in the middle of the living room, i felt really bad for them, they were in the middle of this whole thing with mark and hyuck, i just feel like i have to awknoladge that there is a problem going on with the three of us and apologise to them for it

the four of them appear in the corner of my eyes, all of them were in their pijamas already

i closed my eyes as soon as they were next to me, i really couldnt look them in their eyes, i was just so embarrased that i let this happen in our team

"what happened baby?" jeno said while they all sat down in a little circle around me

a couple of seconds of silence passed until i gathered the courage to speak

"im sorry" i mumbled nervously as i opened my eyes

the four of them all looked at each other with confused eyes

"sorry.. for what saki?" renjun asked the little one

"mmmh for leaving you guys in the dark, of um... our stupid fight" i said while pouting and looking at the floor

"i got mad at them, and i shutted myself out because i was sad and embarrased, but it wasnt my intention to leave you guys in the middle of this! " i went on, this time looking at their so they knew i was being sincere, but i could feel my cheeks heating up, so looked down again, feeling my eyes starting to sting as well.

chenle, jisung, jeno and renjun all looked at taeri with an endering smile, they could see the way her cheeks were red and she was looking to the floor while pouting, and it was just the cutest scene

it was silence once again before chenle spoke

"its okay" he tried to assure her, because they all knew taeri and she was probably blaming everything that happened on her

"thank you for apologizing, youre bond to make mistakes baby" jeno said while getting on his knees so he could move closer to taeri and continued speaking "you were stressed out and your emotions got the best of you, its okay"

(...)

so, now i need to talk to hyuck and mark