He Used To Be Mine (Sonadow)

Chapter 9

Shadow's POV

Nothing interesting happened the rest of the day. Sonic didn't come out of his room and neither did Rouge. I was sitting on a couch in the living room, thinking to myself.

I did go back to talk to Rouge about Sonic's part in the plan. She was as worried as I was, but she was confident that Sonic wouldn't fuck up or die. But that was exactly what I was worried about.
I was worried, not that he would fuck up, but that he will die. He still isn't in the right state of mind, and it got worse after the meeting. I don't know if it's the stress, but it worries me. It almost annoying how much I worry about the Faker. But the truth is, I care about him. I may not show it... at all... but I really do. When I saw him covered in cuts and blood, facing in and out of consciousness, it terrified me beyond belief. I don't know why, but it did. He was out for an hour and a half, all of which I spent watching over him, asking him why. It's a relief he's alive, I realized.

This brings me to another thing.

Why did I think it was a good idea to kiss him on the cheek? We just hugged, and I did it. Not because I wanted to, I don't think. It seemed to be out of pure instinct. I left soon after I did it, unable to see the disgust in his face, and unable to let him see the shock of what I just did in my face. But there might be the probability that he feels the same way I do when I'm around him for me. Doubtfully, but it's still probable.

I sighed, covering my face in my hands. Why do I feel this way about the Faker? He's my rival!
Let me explain. It's a weird fuzzy feeling in my chest whenever I'm near him or whenever I look at him. It's strange, but I don't hate it. My image of him has become completely different now, as well. I don't hate him as I used to. I believed it was out of pity, but now I believe it's something more.

He was different to me now. He reminds me of Maria. He's always been so happy and optimistic. His eyes glimmered when he smiled and he was always well groomed. Until recently, that is. But he's still maintaining some optimism while other people would have broken by now.

I don't know how long I say there, daydreaming about him when I was disturbed.

"Shadow...?"  I looked up to see Sonic, standing at the bottom of the staircase, looking at me concerningly.

"What?" I replied, a bit harshly. I was still upset at what he did. I came over and quietly sat down next to me, his face lowered.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. I softened a bit.

"I understand it hurts. I really do," I said. "But this needs to stop."

"I try, Shadow! I really do!" he replied, turning his face up to me. I could see the anguish in his emerald green eyes. "I can't stop just because you ask me to. It takes time to stop and heal..." I put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know," I replied calmly. "But there is always a time for you to start. I'm trying to help you, I truly am. But each time we make some step of progress, you do something that goes back to square one. It's like you don't want to heal, like you don't want to forget."

"I-I..." His eyes welled up with tears. " I... I don't want to forget... not them... "

"You won't," I murmured. I placed my hand on his cheeck, wiping any stray tears away. "They'll be in your memory and in your heart. The only that will be forgotten is that day it was all lost." He nodded and hugged me tightly, burying his face in my chest. I hugged him back without any hesitation this time.
"Thank you for saving me, Shadow," he whispered into my chest.

"You're welcome," I replied quietly.

He eventually fell asleep in my arms and I carried him back upstairs. As I turned to leave, I heard his bed shift.

"Shadow..." I turned back to him as he was sitting up, looking at me nervously. "W-will you stay with me...?" My face flushed, as did his and I cautiously walked over to his bed. He moved over and I laid down beside him. He wrapped his arms around my torso, burying his face in my chest once again. My face felt as if it were on fire. I wrapped my arms around him and we both fell asleep like that.
I really hope that Rouge doesn't find out...