Fall For You-Namjin

Pain.

A/N: Check out my new story  Yin and Yang it's a oc Yoongi thingie. Fallen angel au

Dear Namjoon,

I saw you for the first time in years...And God damn you look fucking great. I can't help it. I can't stop loving you even touch I was forced to leave you. I want you to kiss me. I want to feel your lips kiss a trail down my neck, I wanna feel you suck on my collar bone. Damn it I want you to make love to me again. I wish things would go back to normal.

......

Namjoon pulls away after the door is busted open by my foster dad. I notice Namjoon stand closer to me, almost proactively? "Oh shit,didn't see you there sir." Namjoon says sarcastically. Causing me to roll my eyes, and giggle. My foster dad snorts. "Well, Seokjin you and your dyke sister can find somewhere else to live. I'm kicking you out." He snaps before leaving. I shrug, and look at Namjoon, who looked pissed. "He just called Jennie a dyke." He mutters softly, causing me to nod. "He did do that." I say softly, before looking at Namjoon. "Calm down, let's  get Jennie, and get the fuck out of here." I say, very softly, hiding the pain. Because, if it let it out now it would give everything away, everything that happened to me from my foster dad.Trauma, is not something that you can let go of easily. Losing my  older sister Sae-Yeon was painful, solving her case was even more painful. Being touched by a woman, when I was too young to know what it was also had had its toll on me. My life has been hell for the past five years. But, Namjoon does not need to know. He would probably, hate me. It's my fault that all of this has happened. Namjoon snaps me out of my thoughts by, caressing my cheek. "Baby, are you okay?' he asked. I show a fake smile, that is a little too obvious. A smile that says. "I'm totally okay, I'm definitely not tearing myself apart, for my own amusement." Namjoon sighs softly, and then takes my face into his large hands. "I know when you are not okay, Kim Seokjin. I wish you would talk to me." He says, and I sigh. "Let's get Jennie, thats whats important right now." I say, sitting up and getting off the stupid hospital bed. I hear Namjoon let out another small sigh, he walks next to me and takes my hand. Showing me that maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. "Jin Hyung, you know I am here for you right?" he asks, before letting go of my hand and then holding me up, to help me walk.  We then exit the hospital building, and I let go of my pain for just a few minutes. 

                              TRIGGER WARNING!!

                  Dear Namjoon, 

                            Yeah life is still insane, even though you are back. My heart is breaking slightly at the thought of losing you, again. Some days, I wish that the guy who killed my noona, killed me instead. But, would I wanna trade fates with her? The answer is no, absolutely not. If my noona, or Jennie ever went through what I have went through, things would be really bad. I might as well tell you, because someone needs to know. And it's not likely that you are going to read this until after I'm gone, like you promised. I was five, and my mom had a drunk friend over. She snuck into my room, and  did things that no five year old should have to go through. It left me traumatized. Then three months later, my father killed my mother. Leaving me, and my sisters alone.......We were moved from foster home to foster home, because nobody wanted gay kids. I felt so empty, but hid it because you were always there. This is all I can write about without having a breakdown. 

More soon,

     Seokjin