Purpose Will Surface (Compete)

chapter eleven

the next morning i woke up before the alarm tyler had set. the anxiety that hadn't stopped churning in my stomach and swirling through my brain hadn't allowed me to get much sleep. i gently rolled on my side to face tyler, seeing his face calm as he slept. i sighed internally in relief, smiling softly at his peaceful state. slowly i pulled the covers off of myself and got out of bed, deciding it would be best to shower now before tyler woke up. i turned on the water, slipping off my clothes and stepping into the hot shower. the warm water relaxed my muscles, allowing me to try to relax a little bit. i tried to drown out the worry creeping in my brain, hoping my soothing and some sleep was enough to help tyler out of the episode he fell into last night. i sighed, this time out loud, before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. i threw on some clothes and walked out of the bathroom, seeing tyler now awake and staring at the ceiling. he looked over at me as i came out, smiling weakly. i got back into my side of the bed and cuddled into him, feeling his arms wrap around me. i kissed his chest gently, feeling the vibrations of him chuckling softly after i did. i pulled away slightly, looking into his dark eyes.

"i'm sorry about last night," i said quietly, and he shook his head. "i shouldn't have brought it up."

"it's okay," he whispers back, placing a hand on my cheek. "it just brought back some dark memories. i don't talk about it, but i should."

"don't rush yourself, i'm here when you're ready," i smiled, and he chuckled in response to me basically paraphrasing his speech to me in regards to sex.

tyler sat up in bed, scratching his head and looking over at the clock.

"well, i'm gross, so i guess i should go shower," he said, and i felt proud he was strong enough to shower. he stood up and walked into the bathroom, making me feel safe enough to relax and scroll through twitter.

i decided to try to look at stuff from the show last night, impressed by the awesome pictures some fans managed to get of the guys. i scrolled through the feed, smiling at every close up of tyler i saw. then i saw a picture of myself and froze. someone in the pit had snapped a picture of me, capturing it asking who the random girl was hanging around with the sound guys. i read through the comments, fans making comments about my lack of a crew shirt so why was i there. someone said i might be a family member, another snubbing me as an overly obsessed fan. i felt a slight panic, feeling like i had been caught even though i wasn't trying to hide anything. i decided to shake it off and kept scrolling, but saw more of myself as i went further down the page. tyler walked out of the bathroom and i closed out of the app quickly, not wanting to add to his worry with my own.

"you okay?" he asked me, grabbing some clothes to put on. i nodded and smiled, hoping he'd believe me. he gave me a not so sure look, but continued what he was doing.

i packed up the rest of my stuff as he got dressed and packed his own. he texted josh that we were ready and we headed out of the room, ready for the journey home. josh drove per tyler's request, i guess he wasn't feeling totally himself yet. he assured josh he was fine, just tired, and insisted i took shotgun so he could sleep. i found myself scrolling through twitter more, finding more and more tweets about myself every time i looked. i decided to change my profile picture so it wasn't of me, not wanting to be found and questioned. i closed out of the app quickly as josh looked over at me, not wanting him to see either.

"i saw that on twitter earlier," he said quietly, making me aware he saw what i was looking at. my cheeks grew red with uncertainty and slight embarrassment.

"do you think it's a big deal?" i asked, looking at him nervously. he shook his head no, making me feel a little better.

"i doubt it, but maybe don't mention it to tyler right away? he seems off, i don't want him to worry over nothing," josh said smoothly, looking at a sleeping tyler briefly in the rear view mirror. i sighed and turned around to look at him too, happy he was at peace in his sleep. "do you know what's going on?"