The air felt dull as Jisung continued rambling on about how much he wanted to go home. Harin had lost focus within the first two minutes of the conversation, quite frankly, she didn't even know if Jisung was still on the same topic. It had been like this for the past three parties that her friend group liked to hold every Saturday. The past three Saturdays, Harin found herself sat in the kitchen, completely zoned off, as Jisung got disregarded and Jeno chatted with his girlfriend of a year and a half.
She didn't know when it began, or to put it in another way, she didn't know when she started feeling like this, feeling for him. Perhaps, it had been there from the start when Harin met the god of mischief himself, with his honey like skin and fire blazing eyes. He was everything she wasn't, what she couldn't even think of being. He walked with confidence and spoke as if his words held no consequences. His name screamed trouble and his smile caused heat to rush to her cheeks. And whenever she found herself near him, her heart cried for her loss through unsteady rhythms.
Even though he was all she ever desired, Harin couldn't call him her own. He was so close, yet so far away. If she was a calm summer day, then he was a stormy winter night. If she was pure heaven, then he was the chaos called hell. Maybe that's why her heart cried, knowing that she would never be able to hold his cold hands or trace the small stars scattered on his face like constellations. Perhaps it cried knowing that him and her could never be like Jeno and Siyeon.
"Harin, are you even listening to me?" Jisung questioned as he snapped his fingers in front of the dazed girl. Harin blinked out of her trance and meekly apologized to the boy with orange hair.
"You always do this, what are you even thinking about so much that you literally stop paying attention to me?" The younger boy huffed as he took a sip out of his apple juice.
Harin only smiled and ruffled his orange locks. "I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind, but I promise that you have my full attention now."
"You already missed it, there's no point," Jisung teased as Harin lightly pushed his shoulder.
Just then, a pink haired boy dressed in a white hoodie entered the kitchen with a smile sketched on his face.
"Guys, they're hosting a game of truth or dare out there, you wanna play," Jaemin questioned directing his eyes around the room.
Harin turned to look at Jisung, then her roommate and her boyfriend, who nodded their heads enthusiastically.
"What about you, Harin?" Jaemin directed his focus to her brown orbs. He only laughed when Harin etched her brows and tilted her head to the right in thought. Although she had no desire to play a child's game, she wasn't going to sit alone in a party drowned in her own resentment. She needed a little distraction, a little fun, and Na Jaemin always somehow managed to give her just that.
"Sure, why not," Harin chuckled as she got up. She walked alongside the boy with the cotton candy hair as he led them to the living room.
Na Jaemin was another story, this boy was what every girl wanted in every possible way. He had a smile carved by Aphrodite herself and his puppy like eyes gave Harin a sense of comfort. Jaemin was soft, he was always warm and he smelled like vanilla and coffee. Being in Jaemin's company was like digging your feet in the sand as the ocean washed over them. He was serene with amazing amounts of adoration in him. Simply put, Jaemin was perfectly perfect.
When they entered the living room, Harin felt herself freeze on her feet as she stared at the sight in front of her. There was the boy who looked effortlessly beautiful in his grey shirt, the boy who held her heart in his hand as he sat with a girl that was not her, with her pale arms wrapped around his torso. Lee Donghyuck had his arm wrapped around the girl's waist, his hand laying on her hip, as he held Harin's heart in his other hand.
This was nothing new to Harin, yet the sight always sent electric shocks through her veins. The sight of the boy who she wanted to give her all to, with different girls every week. Each time she saw a new sight, her knees felt like they would give out at any moment and her rosy cheeks flushed white. And that's exactly how she felt right then and there.
"Harin," Renjun exclaimed, "please sit with me, Chenle is driving me insane." This emitted laughter within the group and Donghyuck finally shifted his gaze to the broken girl.
If it weren't for Jaemin's hand directing her to Renjun, Harin's legs wouldn't have traveled on their own. Donghyuck's lazy gaze remained on her form and in ways, she felt small. It was almost as if his piercing eyes were taunting her, mocking her, daring her to break down knowing that she wasn't the one engulfed in his arms.
Harin always felt that maybe Jaemin knew about her feelings, but remained stoic, not wanting to hurt her. He had become somewhat of a savior to her, like a knight in shining armor, as he always knew when to direct her out of moments that would lead to complete and utter embarrassment on her part. And she liked it like that, he never mentioned anything, but his actions always spoke louder.
She simply looked at the floor as she played around with the silver ring on her finger, an annoying habit of hers. However, if she glanced up just a tiny bit, she could see the couple through her eyelashes. She hoped the girl knew that she was a temporary thing, that she was like a toy that a little kid got on Christmas which ended up being abandoned after an hour of playing with.
"Alright, I'll start," Renjun began as he looked around the circle, eventually finding his prey for the minute.
"Jeno, truth or dare," Renjun smirked at the boy in front of him who only groaned in distaste.
"Truth," Jeno replied with a sigh. This emitted a scowl from Renjun as he muttered a quiet "you're no fun."
Harin giggled at the banter between the two boys. Somehow, it always ended up with Renjun teasing one of the other guys, although he came off as mean at times, Renjun was a really nice guy. He cared for those close to him and that meant defending them through thick and thin.
"Ok, what's your least favorite thing about Siyeon?" The blond challenged. 'Oohs' and 'ahs' filled the circle as they awaited for Jeno's answer, even Siyeon grew curious as she backed away from his grasp to look up at him. However, Jeno seemed unfathomed, cool as ice.
"Probably the fact that she's always right," he shrugged. This led the stoic expression on Siyeon's face to get replaced with a smile that brightened up the whole room as she drew closer to Jeno's chest. Renjun gagged as everyone else booed, definitely wanting a more juicy answer. Harin only smiled at his response, glad that he was quick with words, she was relieved that her best friend found a guy like Jeno.
The game went on for a few more rounds and the truths and dares got more intense as the rounds went on. If Harin were to be honest, a part of her prayed no one would pick her.
After Jaemin had dared Renjun to kiss a girl from our history class and then proceed to tell her that it was the worst kiss ever. Harin was doubled over in laughter looking at the rosy cheeks of the pale boy when he sat back in the circle. She didn't know what was funnier, the pure look of horror the girl expressed on her face or Renjun's usual confidence getting overshadowed by embarrassment.
The blond had gotten over the situation and soon, his demeanor was back to being normal and he sent a devious smirk at Harin's way. She rolled her eyes at his gesture. This was about to get real fun, she thought to herself.
"You've been quiet... truth or dare?" Renjun playfully shoved her.
Harin was not adventurous nor did she want to go through what Renjun had been through.
"Truth." Harin stated as she readjusted her posture.
The pale boy seemed to be in deep thought until he finally spoke up.
"Out of everyone in this group, who would you kiss," he quizzed.
~~~
author's note
I've started another story
and I have a lot of motivation for this one.
I'm definitely going to be updating this one more.
please read and vote!
xoxoLARA
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a day with you | nct dream
Jugendliteratur"I know you have commitment issues. I know you don't want to settle down. You're Donghyuck, after all, but if I just had one day with you. Just a day with you, where all of your attention was on me and everything was perfect, with nothing getting in...