Of All the Things that I Don't Know (Spot Conlon + OC)

Chapter 19

"You look like hell, Conlon."

As Rummy's deep voice broke through Spot's tired, distracted reverie, he couldn't help but feel an immediate tension spread indiscriminately throughout his shoulders and back. He noted how his hands tightened involuntarily as well, his initial soft grip on the railing of his perch overlooking the docks becoming taut. Spot sighed audibly, closing his eyes and shaking his head as he felt the accompanying warmth of Rummy's body moving next to him, a final, infuriating confirmation that his second in command was indeed set on continuing his intrusion into Spot's solitude.

"Aren't you supposed to be overseeing shit at the lodging house?" Spot asked gruffly, snapping his gaze toward Rummy with enough ferocity to dissuade the large boy from furthering any type of conversation with him.

But Rummy simply smirked good-naturedly, appearing to be completely nonplussed by Spot's harsh glare, as he replied, "Kate's got everything under control. I was more in the way than anything, to be honest."

And, almost like a punch to the face, the mere mention of Katherine Moore's name incited Spot's slow, but steady spiral of dejection and gloom, the same poisonous cocktail that he had sullenly been sipping from for the last several days. He felt his stomach sink, and a grimace involuntarily pass throughout his body as he glared menacingly at Rummy for a second time. He knew that Rummy's seemingly innocuous mention of Kate was, in actuality, a further probing of the uncomfortable conversation they had started the night of Mary's episode; more specifically, in the minutes following Rummy's disruption of Spot's entanglement with one of his past flings, an auburn haired girl by the name of Elizabeth.

Spot had not been proud of the string of ill-conceived actions that had so easily led him to Elizabeth's door that night. In truth, all he had been concerned with was completely obliterating his prior conversation with Kate from his memory by any means necessary. And while he had been unable to ignore the pervasive sinking feeling within his stomach during his journey to Elizabeth's single room abode, a visit he had realized hadn't felt like a necessity for several months, he had still pushed forward with the trek anyway. It certainly hadn't helped that she had welcomed him with open arms and willing lips, even in the face of his lazy and ultimately unsuccessful attempts at emoting any of his usual charm or interest. And, the fact that she had earnestly wrapped herself about him, whispering seductive sentiments that relayed her feelings of longing toward him, had been an even greater method of suppressing the horrible disquiet warring about his insides. But, honestly, his culpability could not be denied when all he did was consider the simple fact that he had let her continue without a word of protest. He had fallen blissfully into a comforting numbness as he had emptily gone through the motions of physically engaging with her, and he had reveled in it. Yet, the full weight of his lurking guilt had mercilessly come crashing down upon him anyway, as Rummy's loud knocking had abruptly interrupted his passionate, but luckily still fully-clothed, escapade.

And this self-reproach had only compacted further after Elizabeth had quickly opened the door to reveal Rummy's tall, imposing form in the hallway, the look of utter disgust radiating unapologetically from his shadowed face. He had shaken his head at Spot, making no move to enter in through the threshold as he had said, "We need to get back to the lodging house, Conlon. Mary had some sorta episode." Spot, who had initially been indignant toward his second in commands evident disapproval, had felt the color quickly drain from his face and a panic fill his chest at Rummy's alarming report. But before Spot had been able to blurt out any of the horrified questions that had immediately filled his head, Rummy had calmly asserted, "She's okay for now, but only 'cause Kate was somehow able to put her right. We still needta get some shit in order before the boys get up for the day."

Spot hadn't even acknowledged Elizabeth's presence as he had quickly stepped out of the room and into the dark hallway with Rummy, a sense of alarm still permeating through him at the thought of Mary's distress. But, even in the face of his surging concern, he had also felt a surprising glimmer of hope, the thought of Kate still being at Mary's apartment uplifting him slightly. Earlier that night, her angry promise to be gone by dawn had been an ominous reality that Spot had felt incapable of coming to terms with. But, as he and Rummy had walked away from the tenement house that Elizabeth had long called home, he hadn't been able to stop the feeling of relief that had continued to fill him. Kate had probably saved Mary's life in his absence from the way Rummy had quickly relayed the scene to him, and perhaps this also meant that ultimately, she would remain in Brooklyn after all.