The Silver Heart

12

"What's this?"

Liss was bleary-eyed when she finally emerged from the basement. This was no surprise, since she'd been down there for about two hours.

I smiled brightly at her from my position at the kitchen table. "It's dinner. If you're anything like me you're starving, right?"

She narrowed her eyes at the food on the table: a stack of quesadillas, a bowl of chopped up fruit, and an odd-looking lump of something in the middle of the table. It was supposed to be a chocolate layer cake; when I'd noticed how weirdly shaped it was I'd frosted it with grey icing and then put red icing on top of that.

"Is that..."

I braced myself for some sort of insult. I was used to people thinking my cooking looked weird.

Liss smiled in sudden delight. "It's a volcano, right? That's so cool!"

I frowned. "I... I thought it was." Slowly my frown turned into a smile. "Come on, eat! This took forever to make."

"Okay."

It was one of the best meals I'd had in awhile. Liss was me! Of course she liked what I did. And I didn't have to feel self-conscious about how much I ate or whether or not my stomach was getting bloated. Liss ate the same amount I did, and she didn't make any subtle comments about lifestyle changes. I could actually relax.

And even though the cake sagged in the middle and was way too crumbly, we both thought it was one of the best we'd ever had.

It was actually really fun to trade memories with Liss. She remembered everything I mentioned. Not only that, but she agreed with me about what things were funny, sad, embarrassing...

"Remember that one day in seventh grade with Ms. Spicer?" I asked when we were about a third of the way into the cake.

Liss needed no further elaboration or context. "She was so rude. The homework was done and you got the answers right. Who cares if you skipped one of the, like, ten steps?"

"I know. It was humiliating crying like that in front of the class. And Dad didn't help when I called him."

"I don't think she ever really liked you for that." Liss cut another piece of cake.

I tapped my fork against my mouth thoughtfully. "I mean, no. But she was scared to be nasty to me for the rest of the year."

"Yeah." Liss laughed. "You were a stinker, but it worked."

It was nice to be able to talk about how I really felt about things. I didn't have to pretend that my feelings hadn't been hurt or that I didn't mind certain things people did. And since I knew Liss agreed with me I didn't have to worry about any judgement for the things I said.

Doing the dishes was fun, too. It went way faster and no one told me I was doing it wrong. Liss and I had a good laugh about how neither of us had any idea where the tupperware was supposed to go. We just left it out on the counter.

Then Liss turned to me, excited. "You want to play Minecraft?"

I felt, for a moment, embarrassed. The game was supposed to be for little kids. But then I realized that Liss was me. It didn't matter what anyone else might think when I was with her. "Sure. What have you been doing on it?"

"Oh, you've got to see." Liss grinned. "I have a floating castle now and a full railway system! And I already have, like, six diamonds!"

My eyes widened. "Wow. John usually just wastes his time killing things. Think about what we'll be able to make! Are you using my profile or his?"

"Yours. That avatar is so cool!"

This might have annoyed me a couple of hours ago. Now I just agreed to sign on as John and help Liss out.

I went to sleep on the couch that night with every expectation that when I woke up, Liss would be gone and I would be able to go on with my life again. It was a little sad, sure, but I knew there was no way I wanted to stay trapped with her. I'd proved I could live with her. I'd even been a good host and offered her my bed for that night. Surely I'd done whatever it was I needed to do.

My last thoughts before I drifted off were of how scratchy my blanket was- and of how I was going to survive the school day tomorrow.

A part of me hoped that Brad would tell me how much he cared again. But the rest of me felt that there was no way Brad would want me anymore, now that he had Katie. Katie was on poms. She had tons of friends. She was funny. Anyone would want her.

Maybe she would reject Brad?

The hollow in my stomach returned, and I was frowning when I finally fell asleep.