The Silver Heart

18

Liss and I were about a third of the way through playing 'Gravity' by Sara Bareilles when I realized our bread had been in the oven for a little while. We rushed down the stairs shrieking with laughter to find that we were mostly ok- the bread was only a little burned around the edges. For some reason, the sight of a charred hunk of Oreo was hilariously funny.

The banana bread, we agreed, was absolutely amazing. Maybe other people wouldn't have liked it, but we thought it was incredible. The combination of banana, cashew, strawberry yogurt, Oreo, and who knew what else was strange, but we liked it.

As we ate methodically through the pan, we talked about a few different things- politics, religion, and Alex's new iPhone. Then, just as we were getting through a thorough discussion of the merits and disadvantages of trying to get ahead on my math homework, my phone lit up again. Liss and I both looked sharply over at it.

It was from Brad.

Alex said u were sick on the bus 2day. R u not good for tomorrow.

I tried not to laugh. But the minute I looked up at Liss I knew there was no use trying not to. We both went into near-hysterics.

"You know," I choked out, "I don't understand why we're laughing; it's not that funny. It means he's thinking about me, worried. He cares." I paused. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Liss shook her head; her shoulders were shaking, too. "It's hilarious, Melissa Call, and you know it."

I gave a little gasp. I'd never realized I looked like that when I was laughing- so happy and carefree and pretty. Liss's dark hair was tumbling loose and unchecked over her shoulders, her cheeks were flushed pink, and her brown eyes were shining; I finally understood what my dad meant when he said my smile came mostly from my eyes. Suddenly brown seemed like a pretty color- not the most boring color in the world.

Maybe I only felt like I was ugly because I was never really happy when I looked in the mirror- only posed.

Back to the matter at hand. "Plenty of people text like that, Liss."

"Yeah," Liss chuckled, finally calming down a little, "but that wasn't why I laughed. I laughed because he didn't even bother to ask how you were."

I stopped laughing and looked contemplatively at the phone screen. "Should I answer?"

"Nah." Liss shrugged. "I mean, you could be petty and say 'I'm fine, thanks for asking,' but even then you should wait for a little while before you respond. That's common sense."

I bit my lip. Part of me knew Liss was right, but the other part of me wanted to send a long response with questions in it that he'd have to answer so that I could have the pleasure of seeing his texts come in every few minutes. "Could I say that I'm fine and ask how he is?"

"Sure." Liss smiled at me. "It's your life, Melissa. I might be you but that doesn't mean you have to listen to me."

"That is the most confusing statement I have ever heard. In my entire life." I tossed my phone from the kitchen into the living room, where it landed on the couch, bounced off, and hit the floor.

"That'll leave a mark," Liss said, amused.

"Maybe." I shrugged. "I needed to get the annoyance out somewhere." I felt suddenly unsure. "Liss, is it bad that I still feel this way about him? That I have for so long?"

Liss smiled at me and shook her head. "Melissa, I told you that your loyalty is one of the best things about you. Brad is so lucky to have someone care about him as much as you do. I just don't think he understands just how valuable love like yours is."

I shrugged. "I just feel so stupid. Like I found a gemstone and tried to give it to someone and they told me it was a rock."

"Well, just because he's half blind doesn't mean that your gift isn't a gemstone." Liss reached for another hunk of banana bread. "Seriously, Melissa. Someday you're going to make someone blissfully happy. But more importantly, someday you're going to be blissfully happy. And it's your job right now to get ready for that so that you can enjoy it when it comes."

I frowned, not ready to think about a future with anyone other than Brad. "It could still work between me and him, though- right? I just have to make him see that I'm worth something."

Liss sighed. "You're going to need to know that for yourself before you convince anyone else."

"I think I get it now, though." I chewed thoughtfully on my last piece of banana bread. "Brad won't want me if I don't show him I'm worth just as much as Katie."

"It's not a competition." Liss took the banana bread pan and went to the kitchen sink to wash it out. I got up and started to put away some ingredients that were still on the counter.

"I know," I told her as I put the flour back in the fridge. "It's not a competition because Katie can't possibly feel for him what I do."

"Did you hear a word I said earlier?" Liss attacked the kitchen table with a damp rag. "You don't need Brad to want you to know you're worth it."

"I know." I smiled at Liss's back as I retrieved the baking soda and put it back in the spice cupboard. "You've really helped. I know I'm worth more. I'm just- I'm just not quite ready to give this up yet, you know? I think it could work. Let's not fight. I hate fighting with you."

It was then that I realized that I really did care a lot about Liss. I was willing to compromise instead of engage in debate. I wanted her good opinion. I valued her insight. Could it be that the curse- although it no longer felt like a curse- was almost broken?

Liss turned to me from the table and returned my smile. "Okay. What do you want to do tonight?"

"How about we watch a movie?" I pointed to the clock. "It's only 7:30. We have time to watch Emma."

"I love that movie!"

"I know; me, too. Finally, I get to watch something I want to watch. No more Go, Diego, Go." When the words left my mouth, though, I realized I really did miss my little sister Lizzie. I missed my mom and dad. And my brother and sister.

I was ready to go back to school, too. So I resolved to enjoy tonight as much as I could and to be as careful as I could to stay on good terms with Liss. Because tomorrow I was going back to my old life.

Maybe it could be a little better this time.