Bill Nye the Russian Spy

Chapter One

June 8th, 1995

Bill finishes his speech, thanking the audience, and stepping from the podium. People surround him with cameras and flashing lights asking him questions.

"When will your book come out?"

"What will your book cover?"

As he answered questions, he noticed a man with a fedora and a black trench coat. As he walks toward the exit, the man bumps into him, and starts to whisper in his ear with a heavy Russian accent, "You tried to hide once, and you succeeded, but that won't happen again. We will find you, and we will do with you what we wish."

He quickly hurried away; the cameras tried following him until he got into his car and drove away.

As he drove downtown to his neighborhood, he noticed lots of men in dark outfits and fedoras. He shrugged this off and tried to calm himself down, focusing on the road as he drove home.

Bill pulls into his mildly large driveway, parking in front of his blue house. He makes his way to his front door, looking at his surroundings, and feeling like he's being watched. He opens the door to his house as he steps inside. The lights are off, and his house is silent. He reaches towards the light switch by the door to turn them on. As he flicks it on, he feels something touch his arm, and he jumps around, pulling his keys out of his pocket as his only protection. He's relieved to find it's only a coat hanging from the adjacent closet.

He walks into his kitchen across from the door and starts cooking.

He cooks in his small, rectangular kitchen, with lemon yellow walls, that also happen to have pictures of lemons on them. (Bill Nye really likes lemons)

As he is pouring tomato soup into his pan, a loud knock sounds from the door.

He peers through the peephole and sees a large group of men in trench coats and fedoras.

He has always thought people look good in fedoras; he thinks pageboy caps looked good too.

All of the men have their coats stuffed, presumably with weapons.

The man in the front puts his hand in his coat. "If you don't come out, we'll come in!", he shouts.

Bill scurries around his house, switching on bombs placed strategically around the house. He grabs a remote from the ground underneath a floorboard by the stove and runs to the door.

"Come and get me", Bill retorts, running from the door. As he drinks the rest of his soup cold from the can and stains his shirt, he hears a giant metal tube and a thump, then his door explodes in a ball of flames, and he falls unconscious.