The Girl Who Stopped Time

Pathetic

My mind runs in circles. Trying to process everything that has happened, yet I find myself becoming distracted. All I can think about is Time; Atlas.

I know that I should hate him for what he's done to me: he's kidnapped me from my home, pretty much alienated me from my parents, violated me more than once and then to top it all off, lied to me. Betrayed me. There is nothing that he has done that gives any indication that I shouldn't hate him. Yet, I am conflicted.

The thing about me is that I analyze things too much. I analyzed him too much. The way that his lips curl when he gives me one of his rare genuine smiles, or how he rubs his stubble filled chin when he's concentrating on things. He would always do it when we were eating dinner. He would get lost in thought and I'd get lost staring at him. He also can be so sweet and attentive. When I talk to him, he takes every word I say to heart and I know he does because he's proved it before; he brought a whole box of star gazing tools to my room for god's sake. All because I had told him about my love for the constellations.

He is so intricate and mysterious. A true enigma in my mind.

I can see how he is the embodiment of Time. If I really think about it, he never seems to stop moving. Even when he's sitting, his leg is shaking or his fingers are tapping. He doesn't stop but he can make others freeze in an instant. That day that he kissed me forcibly, I remember suddenly just being stuck. Then... I wasn't. I had gotten out of his silly "trance" and he had seemed so confused by it.

His confusion made me feel powerful. Like I had some sort of control when I in all actuality I had none. He is headstrong and likes to have everything done according to his own style. Now that I think about it, the only time he was ever nice or interested in me was when practically had me wrapped around his finger; when I trusted him.

Never again.

Then there's Azrail. I haven't even seen his face but his eyes- his eyes were truly something terrifying. The same glowing eyes that torture me every night while I sleep. Had he really been the one that's been haunting my nightmares all these years? Atlas said he had watched me my entire life, so does that mean that Azrail had as well? I have way too many questions and I'm currently not speaking to the only person who can answer them.

It's been two days since I've last spoken with Atlas. He's talked to me, but not once have I responded. I barely even talk to Gilah when she comes up to keep me company. She's not so innocent in all of this either.

When I first woke up, I was writhing in pain, it didn't help that they were standing across the room from me speaking in hushed tones. They thought I was asleep, so I listened in on their conversation.

"How is it possible that he's back? And even if he truly is, there is no way he could have enough energy to harm her. Not in this way." Gilah had said to him.

"I'm not sure how. I told her we had another brother but I never once mentioned his name or personification." He said, each word lacing with frustration. "Someone had to of either let Azrail in and gave him power or told Avianna about him. Was it you, did you tell her of him?"

"Of course not, Atlas." Gilah gasps. "I did as you asked and only told her what you wanted me to. She believes I am just in the dark about everything as she is."

I remember the pain in my chest increasing at her words. She had lied to me too. I thought that she was my friend -that she was on my side- but in that moment I knew I never should have let my guard down.

"So, you are all liars then?" I decided to cut in.

Gilah faced towards me, a pitying smile adorning her face. Why is it that she never stops smiling?