1987
(pretending hop is still alive and el still lives in hawkins)song: prom queen by beach bunny
wish i was like you
blue eye'd blondie perfect body
maybe i should try harder
you should lower your expectations☆
el stared at herself in the mirror, she felt disgusting. her stomach was huge, she felt like she wasn't herself anymore. her brain had been picking at every single thing about her lately, she told herself she was ugly, fat, her hair was ratty and tangled, her eyes boring and dull. nothing about her felt beautiful. though mike told her how beautiful she was it wasn't very hard to convince herself he was lying.
she knew he wouldn't lie about that because he loved her no matter what. but what if he thought she was fat? what if she wasn't good enough for him? what if he wanted someone more beautiful than her, what about that blond jennifer? she was way prettier than el would ever be, her blue eyes were bright and inviting, unlike el's boring brown eyes.
"el time for dinner!" her father called from the kitchen, "coming!" she pulled a shirt over her head and slipped on her sweatpants. she walked into the kitchen and sat down across from her father, "what were you doing in there?" he asked, "huh?"
"you were in there for a while, your hair is almost dry." he stated, "oh um, nothing. my uh stomach was upset." she said biting her lip, el cursed herself for lying. "are you okay? i could take you to a doc-"
"fine, promise." she smiled, "okay well, eat up. your foods getting cold." he said softly, she pushed the food around her plate. she remembered all the things she told herself in the mirror, 'if you don't eat you'll be skinnier, mike will love you more. your far to fat, just a few pounds will do.' she put down her fork, "i'm not hungry, i had a lot to eat after i got home from school."
"oh, okay. just put it in the fridge incase your hungry later." hopper said, she nodded and put some plastic wrap over her plate and set it in the fridge. she walked back to her room and checked the time, it was 9 and she was expecting mike to call her any moment. she heard her supercom crackle and she jumped up from her bed to answer it. "el do you copy?"
"yes, i copy." she said smiling, "hey."
"hi."
"what's up?" he asked, "umm, nothing much. just had dinner, what about you?" she replied, "nothing, just finished my homework."
"you should come over tomorrow so we can do homework together." she suggested, "hmm maybe, if hop doesn't kill me." mike said falling back into his bed, "he won't kill you, he just doesn't like that i'm growing up." she giggled, "psh okay. your 16, that's hardly growing up."
"tell that to him."
"that's asking for a death wish." mike snorted, "oh stop it!"
"i'm serious!"
"hey mike?"
"yeah?"
"can i ask you something?" she said shyly, "go ahead." he replied calmly, "do you think i'm fat?"
"what? no! who told you that?" mike couldn't believe someone had the audacity to say that someone as beautiful as el was fat. she was by far the most beautiful woman he had even met. "i don't know.. i've just been thinking lately-"
"don't even say that, your beautiful and if someone's tries to say that your not they can fight me and hopper. that's right, i'll get hopper involved because i know he will throw some hands." she giggled, "thanks mike."
but her mind still told her that he was wrong, he was lying, he was just pitying her because he felt bad. he was only saying that because he didn't want to hurt her feelings.
*
a week had gone by and el had barely eaten, she gave the same excuse almost every time someone would say something. she would only eat when the hunger got so intense she felt like she was going to pass out. most of her friends never noticed much, they just figured she had a big breakfast. but mike noticed, she was always tired and he knew she would never miss out on sleeping. he noticed that her face was slowly thinning, and what she had said about her being fat a week ago crossed his mind.
he didn't want to scare her away by confronting her about it. mike was stuck on what to do. he thought about telling hopper about it, but he terrified mike still to this day.
luckily, he had his next class with her. gym. he hated gym, but the only thing he liked about it was he and el could do everything together. the bell rang and he made his way to the locker room, the usual boy talk was heard throughout the room. he rolled his eyes at troy when he started talking about the last thing he did with a girl. 'come on man, we both know no one would do anything with you.' he thought to himself, he finished changing and walked into the gym where el was waiting for him.
"hi." she smiled grabbing his hand as they started to walk around the gym. "hi." he replied, "hey so can i talk to you after class?" she nodded, the next thing on their schedule was lunch so he figured he could talk to her then. "sure."
gym went as usual, they did all their warmups and whatever they did in gym. and then the bell rang and everyone changed quickly and headed to lunch. el sat next to mike as they waited for the rest of the party to join them, "what did you want to talk about?" she asked, "oh- right. so i don't really know how to say this but- are you doing okay?" he asked, "what do you mean?"
"well, i've just been noticing that you aren't really eating anything. and i can't help but think it's because of what you said when we called a few days ago. i just wanted to know if your okay?" el frowned, she should have known that mike would have noticed right away. "yeah, i'm fine. just u-uh loss of appetite."
she knew he didn't believe her, "oh, okay.."
*
mike was on his way to el's cabin, he rode his bike down the familiar path and threw his bike down once he reached the cozy cabin. he walked up to the front porch and knocked lightly, he waited for el to answer the door but after a few seconds she didn't answer like she normally did.
odd, he thought. he turned the knob to her house and the door swung open. "el?" he called out walking through the house. "in here." he heard her sniffle, he walked towards the bathroom, "can i come in?" he asked, "y-yes." he opened the door and found her hugging her knees on the floor, her little makeup smudged. "what's wrong?" he asked sitting down beside her, "i don't understand why you stay with me." she mumbled, "what are you talking about?"
"jennifer, she's far prettier than i'll ever be. her perfect blond her and perfect body, you guys would look great together."
"why in the world would i want to date her?" mike asked, "i'm not good enough, i'm fat and i'm ugly. my hair looks like a rat ran through it, my eyes are dull and my face is just so- i look like a chipmunk!" she cried into her knees, "el your the most beautiful person i know, i don't care what your body look like because it's perfect in my opinion, your hair is like golden rays of sunshine and your eyes hold so much love and kindness in them, something jennifer haze could never have in a million years. i don't know what's caused you to think like this but all i know is that your gorgeous. and that's a fact."
el blushed, "gosh i love you." she said resting her head on his shoulder, "i love you too."
authors note:
lazy ass ending but yeah
here
i have like 5 million one shot drafts but i don't know how to finish them lolol
ok bye
-nedy ✌🏼
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FanfictionIn which, Mike and El learn they can truely not be apart. ©️kennedy 2020