SURRENDER || ethma

the run in

emma:

I get to Grayson's house at around 3:00, still seeing no sign of Ethan and deciding it's safe for me to go in. I text Jess quickly, letting her know I've arrived, and she gives me the okay to come in.

As soon as I enter the house, my eyes are met with Grayson and Jess cuddled together on the couch, watching a movie. My mind flashed back to Ethan and I doing the same thing in that same spot, but I quickly shook it away. How can I possibly let my mind drift to him, even now?

Besides, Jess and Grayson are best friend cuddling, not relationship cuddling. They've never been a couple in any way; honestly, I doubt they ever would be. After all, they've always been close but have never seemed to think of each other romantically. If they haven't already thought of each other in that way, what would possibly make them start now?

"Emma!" Jess cheers when she finally notices me, crawling away from Grayson's grasp and pulling me into a tight hug. Gray walks over too, hugging me after. "Hey guys." I say in a less upbeat tone, still feeling a bit irritated from my encounter with Ethan at the library.

"What's wrong?" Grayson asks, and I instantly assume Jess probably informed him I didn't sound my best on the phone. I feel like for most people it'd be weird to complain about your ex boyfriend to his twin brother, but not with me and Grayson. I've always been able to talk to him about what goes on with Ethan and I. Grayson and I are friends too, and since he's close with both of us it makes me feel like he's more honest about who's wrong in the situation. Even though he'll obviously always be closer to Ethan.

Before I even have time to think about how I'm gonna answer, Jess asks, "Is it about Ethan?"
I let out a huff and sit down on the couch. "I mean, it's not not about Ethan." I mumble, placing my hand on my head as the both of them sit down beside me. "He asked me to meet him at the library, so I did. And he was late!" I begin, already starting to get angry.

"And then he had the nerve to ask me if I'd tutor him. Which, as if. Especially for free." My voice rises as I talk, and I feel myself going into a rampage. "Like, how are you gonna cheat on me, then not talk to me for almost a whole year, and then just ask me to tutor you like we're old friends or something?" I'm balling my fists as I speak now, feeling my fingernails dig into the palm of my hands. I take a sharp breath, calming myself down. And that's when I notice that despite how frantically I was speaking, Grayson and Jess are staring directly behind me at the front door. I guess in the intensity my angry rant I didn't hear the noise of the front door open.

My head whips around, only to see that none other than Ethan Dolan is staring back at me. And despite the fact that I've barely spoken to him all year, I can still detect the hurt that flashes across his face.

—

ethan:

"Ethan," she whimpers out, and I can tell she has no idea what to say. I know she was just ranting. I know she didn't mean for me to hear it.

But it still hurt. At least at first it did. There was some initial shock too, of course. How is she possibly repelled by my charm?

But then came the anger, which is one of the strongest emotions I feel when being around Emma.

I say nothing to her as I walk off to my room, deciding that my silence speaks loud enough. I'm pissed off at Emma's harsh words, but the bright side of it is that this could definitely help progress my lead in the bet.

She's Emma, so she's gonna feel bad and try to smooth things over with me. And with a little more incentive, maybe she'll tutor me and then inevitably fall in love with me again.

And as if on cue, I hear a knock on the door.

Who knew I was psychic?

—

emma:

I can't control my legs as they move themselves towards Ethan's room, my heart swelling with guilt. Why does he still manage to make me feel bad for him after what he did to me?

Why do I always end up coming back to him when all I really wanna do is let my heart run  far away from him, forgetting his existence and finally riding itself of the pain he caused?

I don't have time to answer those for myself as his door swings open, revealing a very stoic looking Ethan. "Emma." He says sternly, moving over to his bed. I accept that as an invitation as I step into his room, standing across from him.

"I'm sorry." I say instantly, falling over my words. "I didn't mean to..."

Upset you?
Hurt you?
Talk shit about you while you were standing right behind me? 

"It's okay." He says simply, shrugging his shoulders. "You didn't mean for me to hear it. Didn't think I'd be home. I get it."

I don't let my eyes meet his as I nervously fumble with my hands. A semi-nice answer, from Ethan? How do I reply to that? He sinks into my silence for a moment before speaking again. "You probably thought I'd stay at the library studying. You actually have high expectations for me." Now my eyes glance up at him, a sly smirk sitting on his face. I inwardly groan - there's the typical Ethan answer I was expecting. Of course he's putting on an arrogant front, as he does so well.

"Ethan. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you." I say, placing a hand on my hip. He says nothing, his eyes staring me down and making me feel like the only thing in the room.

"Do you accept my apology or not?" I ask one more time with a slight annoyed tone in my voice. He chuckles at me, as if this whole thing is amusing to him. "Sure. On one condition."

"What?" I ask, my eyes narrowing at him. He better not say that I tutor him. I don't care about his forgiveness that much.

"Can I see you tomorrow? We can study, together. You don't have to do anything. Just being around you will help motivate me."

His voice almost sounds sheepish now, and I wish I could say I believed he was being genuine. But I also know better than that.

"Goodbye, Ethan." I say, making a move towards the exit. "I'll be at the library at 3." He says as I leave. I still don't answer. "Or we can meet here! Study with Jess and Grayson. Whatever works. Text me!"

I can't contain the smile that overtakes my face. Maybe he is being genuine - but probably not. It's just that, Ethan almost reminds me of the old him. The him I fell in love with.

Almost.

I definitely shouldn't go to the library with him. Us being alone together for a long period of time is a horrible idea.

But us studying with Grayson and Jess.. maybe, just maybe, I can get on board with that.

At least, that's what I think until I get to my car and see that I have a text from Ethan.

Ethan:
oh, and by the way, i never cheated on you.