The Sassy Virgin (English) [on hold]

16. His Side...

What is this? Why am I feeling this? It's never happened before and I've thought that it's impossible for me to feel it. My heart is aching so much it feels as though it's been wrapped up in a tight fist. 

I looked up and fresh tears started to fall from my eyes. Yes, I've been crying. I couldn't stop myself. I know it's not me, but to see her lying there on the hospital bed with her eyes closed is scaring me.

Everything that happened was such a shock. One minute we were teasing each other and the next thing I knew, she was already in danger. The sound of her car crashing onto that tree was still very vivid to me. It's what I hear every time I close my eyes. The distress in her voice when she had trouble with the car stilled my blood. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tear out of the offic and run to where she was so I could save her. But of course, it was impossible especially when I didn't know where she was in the first place.

I kept calling her name after I heard her scream. When she hadn't answered, I felt like the world closed in on me. Flashes of her smiling face came to mind and the thought of losing that had me shouting to my secretary to call for help.

Now, with her limp hand engulfed in my mine, she lay weak. Her body full of bruises, a venturi mask attached to aide in her breathing and different intravenous fluids being infused into her. She'd lost a lot of blood so she was also being transfused with it. The sight of her lying there attached to all those life preserving equipment makes me want to scream.

I felt so helpless. It's a feeling I haven't been accustomed to for a long time now. I've always been in control of myself. But when Erin came along, changes happened. She helped bring out those emotions I had suppressed as a child. She's like a flame that lit up my dark world. She had me yearning for the things I've long before forgotten to have, a family.

"I can't lose you, Erin," I whispered, my voice hoarse now from the crying, "I can't. Please, babe. Move your hand for me again so I'd know you heard me. Please,"

I waited for a few seconds but only to no avail. I had a feeling then that the movement I felt from her earlier might just have been a reaction to her medications. But it gave me hope that she'd have heard me begging for her to wake up.

"Erin, please. Open your eyes," I said with my face buried into her hand I was holding, "Wake up,"

"Bryce dear,"

I looked up to Harriett's voice. It sounded hoarse as well. She'd been crying ever since I called her about what happend to her daughter. When we got to the hospital and saw Erin's condition, she collapsed and had to be taken care of for a moment. But when she recovered, she'd immediately rushed to Erin's room and cried her heart out. We were worried that she might collapse again so we had to keep a close watch on her.

She hadn't left her daughter's side for two days. I brought her food all of the time since she refused to leave Erin, even for meals, afraid that the latter would wake up and she wouldn't be there. I had to reign in my emotions even though I was already crying desperately inside. I can't have myself breakdown in front of Harriett especially when she needed someone to lean to at this tragic time.

Last night, I was able to convince her to go home and rest. At first, she refused. But when I told her that it would only add more strain to Erin if she finds out that her mom had collapsed because of too much stress worrying, she finally agreed. And that left me here to look after Erin.

"Oh, dear, you must really care for my daughter that much," she said, "I was too absorbed with my emotions towards what happened with Erin that I hadn't noticed you were hurting as well," 

I must've looked like a wreck for her to say that. I might've quickly tried to make myself presentable for if it's one thing I hate, It's having people see me in a vulnerable state. But I just didn't feel like that's importat right now. I'm almost depleted of my energy. I'm losing hope that the woman I've come to care about, more than money and power, would wake up.