'Standing By' (Book 1)

Thirty-Two

SCOTT

"You wanna have a kid?'

Mitch nodded at me as I still was looking at him in confusion.

"Yes, Scotty. I want us to have a kid together."

"We've only been married for like, a week."

"6 days, but that's not the point. It'll take us some time to set it all up still. There's a lot we'll have to go through and plan out. I just wanna start as early as possible so it won't take years to happen."

"I see." I looked away from him, staring at the wall next to me. I understood what he was saying, but for some reason I didn't like the idea.

"Scott?"

"What?"

He scoffed. "It's nothing. Forget I said anything." He turned away from me and went into his bedroom.

"Mi-" He shut the door in my face before I could say anything.

I felt bad, of course. I did want to have a kid with Mitch but it's so complicated for us. Either we adopt, which I don't really want to do, or we get a surrogate. And who would be the egg donor? Which one of us would be the bio dad? It's all too much for me to handle.

I knocked on his door. There was no response. I walked in and saw him sitting indian style on the end of his bed, facing the window. His shoulders shook up and down every now and then. He was crying.

I walked around the bed and saw something in his hands. It was something of a baby's. "What's that?" He looked up at me from the thing in his hands that he was holding up to his face. His eyes were all red and puffy. He was looking right into my eyes. I couldn't tell what they were showing. It seemed to be a mix of anger and sadness. Anger at me, and sadness at whatever he was crying about. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He turned away from me. I grabbed the thing that was in his hands. "Hey!"

"Shhhh." I looked at what it was. It was a baby's blanket. A blue one. "Who's is this?"

"No ones." He went to grab it out of my hands."

"Mitch. It's someone's. Who's is it?"

"It's mine. It's my baby blanket from when I was born."

"Why do you have it? And why were you holding it as you were crying?"

"Because. When I was 18, my mom gave it to me for when I was older and had a kid of my own. I kept it in case, even though I didn't think I'd have a kid."

"Why? You were stuck on the gays-can't-have-kids thing too?"

"No. I knew gay people could get married and have kids like straight people. I just assumed I would end up alone because I wasn't good enough for anyone. But when I met-" he stopped. I knew who he was talking about.

"It's okay."

"When I met him, I thought maybe it's different. Maybe I'll actually get married and have kids with someone. But then we broke up. And I thought I was proved right. And obviously, I'm still right."

"No you're not, Mitch. I wanna have kids with you, so bad. But I just think it's a lot of work to have a kid. Not the whole taking care of the kid, the actually having it."

"Like, adoption or surrogacy?"

"Well, I don't wanna adopt."

"Good. Me either. I wanna have a surrogate. I wanna have the kid ourselves."

"Yeah, me too. But how will we find a egg donor? Who will be the bio dad? It's a lot to sort through Mitch. But the biggest part, how will we afford it?"

"I know. We don't have millions of dollars, but we're sure as hell not poor. I'll stop ordering things online."

"No you won't." I smiled at him. He knew I was right.

"Whatever. We can do this." He held my hands in his.

"I'm scared, Mitchie."

"It'll be okay."

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, let's do it. Let's have a baby Mitch."

"Ahhhh! Yes!" He hugged me tight, slightly jumping in excitement.