Sugar

13. I...

"Namjoon, this is my...Y/n. We've been seeing each other."

I can't help a tiny smile at Seokjin, for not calling me his girlfriend, not using the word dating, because we talked about it and he remembers, then my attention turns back to Namjoon. He looks taken aback, eyebrows knitted, scrutinizing Seokjin and then me, unsure what to think.

I swallow my nervousness, giving him a smile. "Hey, Namjoon."

He nods, and Seokjin glances at him, then me, squeezing my hand lightly. "Do you two know each other?"

Namjoon glances at me, unsure, and I open my mouth when Seokjin's attacked by a dark-haired boy, his face bright with happiness as he wraps his arms around Seokjin from behind. Taehyung.

"Jin, how are you? You never see me anymore." He pretends to pout and Seokjin grins, turning to flick his forehead.

"Get off me, Tae. You haven't visited me either."

"True." Taehyung untangles himself from Seokjin, then glances at me and does a double take.

"Namjoon, you brought your girlfriend?" He takes in Seokjin's hand in mine, his eyes widening, then he glances at Namjoon, unsure what's going on.

"Namjoon's girlfriend?" Seokjin's eyebrows furrow and I'm having trouble breathing, not sure what to reply.

"Ex."

I turn as Namjoon cuts in, and I tilt my head slightly, catching on as he meets my eyes.

"We went out for a while earlier this year. Nothing serious." Namjoon gives Seokjin a smile, then turns to me. "How have you been? It's been a while."

I nod slightly, aware of Seokjin's eyebrows still drawn. "Pretty good."

Seokjin shifts closer to me, and I startle slightly as his arm wraps around my waist, pulling me gently closer to his side, and I glance up at him, the way he's watching Namjoon carefully.

"Taehyung, is your father ready yet?" Mrs. Kim finally steps in, pushing past Namjoon to walk over to Taehyung, fixing his tie and messy hair. "People will start getting here soon."

Seokjin gives Namjoon another glance, then laces his fingers with mine, turning to his mother. "I'm going to show Y/n around, okay?"

"Of course, honey."

Seokjin tugs me gently out the door, leaving Taehyung and Namjoon and Mrs. Kim behind us, and in the hall he lets go of my waist, running his hand through his hair, leaving it messy.

"So...you dated Namjoon?"

I shake my head. "It was nothing. Just fooling around."

I shouldn't be lying to him.

"Fooling around, huh."

He holds the door open, letting me go out first, then falls into step beside me, walking slowly in the dimming light. "That's kind of awkward."

I nod. "I didn't know you two knew each other."

"We grew up together. His parents are my cousins."

"Oh." We walk quietly, Seokjin leading the way down a path through the green lawn, walking slowly.

"Here." Seokjin tilts his head to a path branching off to the side, and I follow him into what must be the backyard, strung with twinkly lights and soft music and tables of food and people talking quietly.

"It's so pretty." I turn, taking it in, and Seokjin smiles at me.

"My mom really likes outdoor parties."

I nod, still processing how gorgeous it is out here, the soft lights and the flowers and the people, and Seokjin slips his hand into mine, tugging me gently toward where people are swaying slowly to the music, and I flush as he turns to face me, hesitant.

"You want to dance?" His voice is soft, eyes searching mine, and I know he's forgotten about Namjoon, just here with me.

I nod slightly, and he carefully rests his hands on my waist, and I wrap my arms around him, and we're still holding each others' gaze as he starts swaying slowly to the lull of the music, his brown eyes serious on mine, catching the golden glow of the lights as we move slowly.

"I don't care if Namjoon dated you," Seokjin speaks quietly, and his eyes are steady on mine. "I know you're worried about it, and I don't care."

My cheeks heat and I nod, moving closer, resting my head against his chest as his arms tighten around my waist, the steady beating of his heart making me smile.

"It wasn't dating," I say softly, and I catch myself before it slips out, before I ruin this perfect moment. "It was nothing like...us." It's the truth.

Seokjin pulls away slightly, and his eyes search mine, softening as he smiles slightly, brushing a strand of my hair out of my face. "Are you comfortable with me kissing you?"

My eyes soften, and my lips pull up into a smile, because he's so perfect and caring and concious that I might not be okay with him kissing me in the middle of all these people that I can't help it. "I'm always comfortable with you."

Seokjin's lips pull up at the corners, and he brushes my hair out of my eyes, tilting my chin up toward him as he leans down, painstakingly slow, my eyes closing as his lips brush mine, tentative, moving slowly, breathing me in.

I pull him closer, unable to help tangling my hands in his hair, the kiss so slow, so perfect, so warm and gentle that I don't want him to pull away, this moment feeling like the first kiss all over again, the way he's so careful and gentle and soft yet still manages to knock the breath out of my lungs making me lightheaded.

Finally we separate, just barely, and Seokjin leans down, gently resting his forehead on mine, arms around my waist, still swaying ever so slightly to the music.

I smile, not wanting to open my eyes, my fingers running through the silky hair at his nape, this moment so perfect I can't be the first to pull away fully.

We just stand there, eyes closed, holding onto each other, and when I finally open my eyes to the now-dark party, lit only by the tiny golden lights, that guilt fills my stomach again, tugging at my insides, making me close my eyes as if that can shut it out.

"I..." Seokjin's voice is a whisper, and he lets the word trail off, lingering in the air between us, and I don't want him to continue, because I don't want to know what he's going to say, I don't think I can know what he feels right now because that'll just make it harder later, when I eventually have to let go.

I pull away slightly, and Seokjin releases my waist, the moment over as I look away, clearing my throat softly, choked up for some reason, the fact that I can see Namjoon over Seokjin's shoulder making my stomach a pit of lead, guilt, self-hatred.

"You want to grab some food?"

I glance up at Seokjin, and it's the strangest thing in the world, how he can make everything better with that smile.

"Yeah."

I let him lead me away from the party, away from Namjoon and the realization that I can't keep doing this, I can't keep leading Seokjin on because it's going to hurt, so much.

Seokjin doesn't deserve this.

~

A lil soft Seokjin to make your day happy  :)