Delay our misery (Andley) **editing**

Chapter twenty

“Hey boys, you’ve got to wake up, school starts in about an hour” Andy’s mum said softly as she nudged us in the arm. “Morning” I said sleepy to her. “Morning Ashley” she said and kissed my forehead. She was so lovely. Andy was so lucky with his mum. Andy’s mum disappeared through the door again and Andy woke up too. “Hey love” he said and kissed me. “Hmm morning” I said, half yawning, causing Andy to chuckle.

“I’m going to take a shower, I’ll be back in ten minutes” Andy said, kissed my head and then stood up and walked to the bathroom. I sighed, I was exhausted. I lay back in the bed again and closed my eyes.

I was woken up again by Andy’s damp hair tickling the sides of my face as he kissed me softly. “Hey baby, wake up” he said softly. I nodded and sat up. Andy was only wearing his boxers, causing me to blush. He chuckled lightly and went over to his dresser to pick out some clothes. He picked out a black ripped up skinny jeans, and a shirt of the Misfits. He also wore a bandana today, which looked really cute on him. When Andy had dressed himself, I stood up and started dressing myself.

“Baby” Andy said and looked at my body. I turned around. “Yeah?” I asked. “Your-your back” Andy whispered. I knew what happened to that one; my dad threw me against the kitchen counter about three days ago. It must be blue or something. ‘I-I’m sorry” I sighed. Andy shook his head and sat down on the bed.

I pulled the shirt over my head and then sat down next to Andy, who was crying. “Baby” I whispered and wrapped my arms around him tightly. “I’m sorry” I said. Andy just rested his head against my chest and I wrapped my arms around him a little tighter. “I-I love you Ashley” Andy sobbed. “I love you too Andy, I love you too” I whispered back.

When Andy calmed down some we went downstairs to get some breakfast. I didn’t want to eat, I was fat, and I had to fix that.

Andy and I both walked to school. I was feeling a little ill, but hey, I could handle that. Andy thought that it was because I didn’t eat that morning. But that wasn’t true.

Andy and I separated our ways again at the center of the village and then we both walked to school further alone. Even before I arrived at school Travis and Dan had already came me across. “Hey fagboy” Dan said. I ignored him. “Emo” Travis said. I bit my lip and walked further. “Faggot” Dan said and pushed me. I stumbled and fell on the ground. “You’re fat” Travis said. “And ugly” Dan said and spit in my face.

“I know” I said and tried to stand up. “Not so fast whore” Dan said and kicked me in the stomach, causing me to moan in pain. “Aww does that hurt?” Travis cooed. “Yes” I whispered. “Why haven’t you killed yourself yet?” Travis cooed. “Because I don’t know” I admitted. “Well, you should kill yourself” Dan said. “But what if I don’t want to die?” I asked, half crying. “Then you also should. You know whore, you’re worthless and you don’t mean anything to anyone. Nobody loves you and nobody wants you.” Dan said. Andy loved me, but Dan couldn’t know. He’d beat us both do death. “And what did I hear about your daddy?” Travis said.

I swallowed. Fuck. “Is he a pathetic alcoholic?” Dan cooed. “He’s my dad” I said, trying to stay strong. “Well, at least he gives you what you deserve.” Dan said. That was it. I raised my shirt. “Do I deserve this?” I screamed. “You do! Totally! You don’t know how worthless you are, do you?” Travis asked laughing. “I-I’m not worthless” I said, but I didn’t believe what I said, I was worthless.

“You should kill yourself” Travis said. “Yeah fagboy, kill yourself, you pathetic fat emo” Dan spat. I started crying. My head was spinning. They were right, I should kill myself. As soon as they left, I walked home again.

I was crying all the time. At least I was glad Andy’s parents were off to their work. I ran upstairs to the bathroom and took a razor. I sat down on the cold floor and started dragging the razor along my wrists. Deeper and deeper every time. My arm was bleeding like hell. Slowly I became numb and then everything started fading away slowly.

The next thing I remembered was laying in a hospital bed. Andy, and his parents sat at the side of the bed. I slowly woke up. “Ashley” Andy whispered, he’d been crying, I could tell. Then I remembered what happened. I looked down at my arms carefully. Stitches in some of the cuts, but they were all cleaned up. “Ashley” Andy’s dad said, “what was that buddy?” he asked softly. I started crying again. “T-they told me to kill myself, again. And-and I was sick of it s-so I t-tried” I cried. “Who?!” Andy asked, seriously shocked. “T-Travis and D-Dan” I said. “Those fucking assholes” Andy screamed and ran out of the room.

I carefully sat up and then stood up, making my way after Andy. “Baby” I whispered as I sat down next to him, outside the hospital. “I-I hate them” Andy sniffled. Soon he started crying and I started crying too. “I can’t loose you baby” Andy sobbed. “I-I can’t loose you too” I replied. Andy pulled me in his lap and then he kissed my wrists.

Some cuts were a bit sensitive but I was okay with it. Andy was so sweet. No, he was too sweet. I just started crying again. Andy held me tight and I fell asleep.

I woke up when I felt someone picking me up. I opened my eyes and saw that Andy was carrying me to the bedroom again. “Andy” I whispered. He stood still. “Shh” he said softly. “I can walk myself too I’m way too heavy for you” said. “No baby, I’ll carry you” he said and kissed my lips lightly and went on carrying me to the bedroom. He softly lay me down I the bed.

 A nurse stood in the bedroom. “Hello Ashley” he said. I looked up. Mr. Yusan?! “I-I’m sorry” I whispered. “It’s okay buddy, but can I talk with you for a second?” he asked. I shrugged “I guess so” I said. Andy and his parents left the bedroom and Mr. Yusan sat down next to me on the bed. “Why Ashley?” he asked softly. “B-because I deserve it” I sobbed. “Why?’ Mr. Yusan asked. “T-they told me to do it” I sobbed “they told me to kill myself” I said. “Who? Ashley, do you’ve got voices in your head?” Mr. Yusan asked. “N-No I-I meant T-Travis a-and Dan” I whispered. “What?!” Mr. Yusan asked shocked. “People from school?” he asked. I nodded “They told me I-I am worthless and that nobody loves me and-and that I should go and kill myself” I cried.

I felt like such a pathetic loser. “Ashley, there are people who love you. Andy loves you, his mum does, his dad does, and in some ways I love you too, not in the way of a parent or in the way of being in a relationship, but I love you and I’d seriously be upset if you killed yourself.” Mr. Yusan said. “T-thank you I guess” I whispered. Mr. Yusan just hugged me. “And you’re probably asking yourself now; what the heck is he doing here, but as you know, I only work at school at Monday, Thursday and Friday. At Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday I work here, in the hospital” he explained. I nodded. “Well, I guess you can go home again, but Andy’s parents have to sign a form which says that you’re staying with them because it’s not safe to stay home anymore. Then you dad can’t go to the police and say they’ve kidnapped you, but if he does that, Andy’s parents just show the form and then everything will be okay”. I nodded “Thank you” I said shyly. “You’re always welcome Ashley” Mr. Yusan said.

Andy’s parents signed the form and then we went home again. It was four pm. So we’d still have time to have dinner, I didn’t eat much, and then we had band practice.

While dinner Andy started speaking “Ash, the prom is delayed, again, now it’s this Friday. Those fuckers don’t know what they want” Andy said. “Language” Andy’s dad said with a grin on his face. Andy chuckled, “sorry dad”. After dinner Andy and sat down on the couch, cuddling each other.

Andy opened the door when the doorbell rang. “Hey guys” Andy said. “Hey” Jinxx and Jake said. “hi” CC said sadly. He wasn’t okay, I could tell, the first second I saw him I could tell that he wasn’t okay. The guys didn’t want anything to drink so we directly went to the garage. We played our own song ‘Youth and Whisky’ and then played a few other songs. CC made faults in his drumming all the time. He was really upset. “CC” Jinxx said softly. CC looked up at him and a tear rolled down his face. He was crying.